Calling all parents of angry attachment challenged teens: Hang-in, hang-on, don’t give up. They really aren’t angry at YOU. They are, however, very wounded and have erroneously claimed their victimhood. This error can wreak havoc without concentrated efforts to get to work on the inside. YOU may need help from a therapist to do this. Find one that understands the underbelly of abandoned children who can move beyond the surface anger at YOU into the subterranean pain at the root.
Under that anger is a hardwired attachment wound that cannot repair or be healed without digging-in, excavating, feeling the pain, soothing the core, understanding the cause, changing the internal whispering demon dialogue, learning to care about the past/present/future, taking responsibility for hurtful behavior, making new choices, staking a claim, grieving the losses, letting go, forgiving, and accepting the challenge to live a different life with love and support from an attached family.
Ce Eshelman, LMFT
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