Without a well developed prefrontal cortex, your child of any age cannot make sense of what matters in a productive life, logical consequences, parent/child hierarchy, morality, give and take, love commitments, integrity, honor. If your child comes from difficult beginnings of any kind–adoption, birth accidents, illness, maternal illness or death, postpartum depression, multiple abandonments, abuse–the prefrontal cortex has been bathed in cortisol, which likely stunted expected emotional development. If that is the case, using parenting strategies that rely on cause and effect, punishment, emotional demands, lecturing, logical consequences, hierarchical expectations, doing what is right, being good, relationship glue, conscience, and/or shame will make the problems worse and delay development further.
I heard that collective sigh, parents. Strategies that rely on respect of the child’s life experience, regulation, shared power, training, repetition, acceptance, structure, nurture, safety, and empathy will help to lower the cortisol and raise the development quotient of the part of the brain where everything you are looking for lives. It’s truly worthy parenting. Any other kind is the opposite.
The next 8 hr. Trust Based Parent Training is scheduled for April 23rd and 30th from 12noon to 4pm. $200 per couple. Childcare available for $30 each day, second child $10 additional. To sign up email Jen@attachplace.com and she will register you.