Schools are incredibly dysregulating places for attachment challenged, traumatized children. I am not indicting teachers (though some could use a lobotomy…did I say that out loud?), per se, but the institutions in which they work and our communities of parents that are too sleepy or exhausted to rise up en masse and say enough is enough already. What are we thinking sending our children to factory-sized, educational industrial complexes? What about traumatized children? Our children, with a good heaping of trauma on their brains are being sent into that kind of environment and we are expecting them to sit still, follow directions, be pleasant, leave their hands to themselves, and keep their mouths shut. We are asking those same children to learn, get good grades, refrain from using drugs, alcohol, and sex to soothe, and get home happy. That’s a recipe for chronic meltdown, leaking agitation and aggression, negativity, poor decision making, and constant trouble making at home and at school. Whew! I’m stressed just writing about it.
When you decide to rise-up to protect the fragile mind/body of your beautiful wounded child, take a posse. Take your therapist, your mother, your lawyer, your pastor, your doctor, your psychiatrist, or whomever else can speak with wisdom, authority, and specificity on behalf of your child’s mental health; because mental health is what is at stake. Education is actually secondary for your child, though it is primary for the school. There in lies the rub. It takes a posse. You can get one. I promise. Get good at asking for professionals to put their mouths where they might make a difference–at school. Persevere.
Our monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6pm to 8pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827. Child care provided at no cost. Sign up at www.attachplace.com.
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Our next 9a-5pm Trust-based Therapeutic Parent Training will be on January 7th, 2017. 2017!!!