We Are Family

Dear Parent,

Off and on I get sympathy from readers because my parenting life seems so unbelievably bizarre and challenging.  There is quite a bit of projection there, and I want to set the record straight.  I love my kids, and I really enjoy them.  I would rather sit around a dinner table with them than with any other group. They make me laugh. They are grateful and polite.  They laugh at my jokes and they work very hard at being family kids.  It isn’t easy for them. They are not wired for it. Neither am I.

Are they irresponsible?  Do they fit poorly into society?  Do they manipulate and take advantage of my resources?  Are they emotionally wounded and wounding?  Do they struggle?  Are their decisions questionable?  Have they hurt me, lied to me, scared me, stolen from me, destroyed my stuff, been thoughtless, heartless and hateful?

Unequivocally, yes. That part is hard. Still, they are my favorite people on the planet. Their struggles are their own.  Mine are my own.  It is what it is.  Beyond all that, we get each other.  They know my peeves, my humor, my likes, my imperfections.  I know theirs. We are related and attached.  That matters to them and to me. That is what this whole journey has been about; learning to belong to each other; becoming a family in the face of adversity.

Mission accomplished.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships

Love matters,

Ce

To sign-up for daily Wisdom for Adoptive Parents, click here.

The next 8-hr. Trust-based Parent Training is scheduled for June 18th and 23rd from noon to 4pm. Email Ce@attachplace.com to register.

TIME CHANGE: Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is every second Wednesday of the month from 6pm to 8pm.  Group and childcare are free.
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You can find Ce’s book on Amazon.com.

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