We work so hard to impact that early wiring in the brains of our children from difficult beginnings. Maybe too hard sometimes, because our children have trajectories of their own. We do our best. They do their best. The rest is up to the Universe.
We Are Not In Control
I do not say this lightly. I say it honestly. We cannot control the outcome of our children’s lives. We just can not. They have a trajectory of their own. I respect that. And I encourage you to have compassion for them, for you, for the journey.
Every time I felt hopeless when raising my children; when all seemed fruitless and futile, in time there was growth. There is always growth. It was not always in the way I wished or in the way I thought would be the best, but growth did happen over time.
Sometimes we parents have to let go and let God or the Universe or the Light or life’s trajectory. We are not really in control. We never are. We can only do our best with what we have at the time. In retrospect, there is sadness for how little we once knew. That’s okay. That’s life. You can’t know what you don’t know.
Be gentle with yourselves, dear parents; be compassionate for your efforts, for your child, for the trajectory that is their own. It is bittersweet, I know. My salvation has been in accepting my children’s journey and separating them from my own. They are truly different from me and just perfect as they are.
Acceptance Is Healing
I love my kids. Do they live the lives I would have them live? Not really. I wish much more for them, and I accept them as they are. They both appreciate me for that, I think. I see them becoming more and more comfortable being loved by me. Maybe that is the first step for them in learning to love themselves. I hope so.
SIGN UP NOW: Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held May 11th, 2019 from 10 am to 4 pm. Childcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Stay tuned for the exact dates.
Girl’s Empowerment Group (ages 9-11): Sorry Registration Closed. Begins April 13th from 1:00pm to 2:30pm for four weeks–$30 per session. Ce Eshelman, LMFT and Andrea Kersten, B.A./B.S. will be using art and improv to create relationship skills for making and keeping friends.
AUTISM Support Group: Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. NEW DAY: Every third Monday from 5:30 to 7pm. Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks. This is a monthly social group for the youth; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. There will also be occasional fun field trips, like bowling, ice skating, roller skating, etc. A donation of $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE. ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.
UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT: CLICK HERE to join our monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group, May 8th, 2019. Childcare provided at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827. Open to the public.
GIVE A BOOK OF SUPPORT TO A FELLOW PARENT ON THE ADOPTION JOURNEY: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT. Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing. Buy from Amazon or order a discounted copy here.