The Love Runs Through It

Dear Parent,

Living again with my daughter who is now 20-years-old is challenging for both of us. She romanticizes me even now like a toddler looking up into the huge, hairy nostrils on the face of her mother–bigger than life, indestructible, impenetrable, slightly scary. Those are very young eyes looking at me; the imperfect me, who bumps hard into her expectations like an elephant dancing in a tiny house.  No matter where I step, my giant self-confidence smashes clumsily down on some part of her tender sense of self.  Instead of seeing me as flawed, she heaps on a truck load of self-hatred and inadequacy.  No matter what, she cannot measure up.  In those moments she swirls further into the black sludge of self reproach or explodes a volcano of anger that burns its way down an unreasonably steep slope.

I could pathologize her, but that will not change our relationship; and I desperately desire a better one with her.  I love that young woman, the girl in big lady heels.  Like always, I am hanging in here steadfast with love and hope for a better tomorrow.  One day I trust we will see each other whole against the sky (Rilke)–perfectly flawed or flawed perfectly like everyone else.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships

Love matters,


The next 8 hr. Trust Based Parent Training is scheduled for April 23rd and 30th from 12noon to 4pm.  $200 per couple.  Childcare available for $30 each day, second child $10 additional. To sign up email and she will register you.

Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is every second Wednesday of the month from 5:30pm to 7:30pm.  Group and childcare are free.
picture of cover
The public is invited to celebrate Ce Eshelman, LMFT’s new book, Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents at an open house with brunch bites and bubbly on April 16th, 2016, from 11:30am to 1:30pm.  RSVP here.  Probably not the best event for children though.
To purchase a book click here or go to Leave a review, when you can.

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