Parents often call my office looking for therapy for their attachment challenged child(ren). When I share our comprehensive family approach, many are accepting and excited. Some however are white-knuckling every day, worn out to the core, and reluctant to put in even an ounce more energy. These parents are desperate to get help for their child and they focus on that.
He never does what I tell him to do.
She only cares about herself.
Something is wrong with him.
She sneaks around all the time.
He steals things from everyone.
She doesn’t have a conscience.
He lies about everything.
She is grieving about her past.
He is negative all the time.
She doesn’t care about anything.
He hurts his brother.
She hates me and her life.
He is self-centered and disrespectful.
S/He needs therapy.
I have no doubt.
Here is what I see in the room with me:
YOU are hurt.
YOU are triggered.
YOU are reactive.
YOU are adversarial.
YOU are resentful.
YOU are grieving.
YOU are angry.
YOU are depressed.
YOU are dysregulated.
YOU are exhausted.
YOU feel hopeless.
YOU need therapy.
Your whole family needs help, because YOU are the healer for your own child. Therapy isn’t effective without YOU.
When YOU have trouble finding yourself,
YOU need help.
Ce Eshelman, LMFT
Next Trust-based Parent Course is planned for March 28th and April 4th. Save the date.
Next Hold Me Tight Couples Workshop by Robin Blair, LMFT at The Attach Place is planned for April 17th, 18th and 19th.
The Attach Place supports The Wounded Warrior Project by providing free neurofeedback to veterans. Feel free to send a soldier our way for an assessment.
Feel free to send this link to friends or family members who you would like to sign-up for Daily YOU Time: Wisdom for Adoptive Parents.