As you probably know, I am launching a book. It has taken me years to get the darned thing to press, and April 16th is the big launch party (actually it is pretty small, which is perfect). At the same time, I have been preparing to launch my three adult children. The frightening similarity in the two processes escaped me until yesterday morning, when I was hit with a huge wave of anxiety and I couldn’t tell the source. For days my mind has been obsessively alternating two thoughts: Should I get the office carpet cleaned for the big day? and Are my kids capable of pulling this off? Is it the book launch? Is it the kid launch? Is it the fear of failure on all fronts? Or is it the thrill of success? Ding, ding, ding…I am dysregulated. And if you see “I” am, you ought to see my kids. Whew, pure fear sweat around this house.
Writing a book is a painstaking process requiring daily discipline and commitment to staying on track–even when some days are dark with apathy, light on inspiration, and gray from blight of imagination. Often I have wanted to give up because my inner gremlin, Mack The Hack, tells me no one cares what I have to say; so why try? Then out of nowhere, ideas poured out onto the page like sublime wine from a muse’s challis. That’s hyperbole; my writing is never like that. It is more akin to the heavy hands of a chimp pounding on the keyboard.
Launching my children resembles a gorilla pounding on the keys of every day life. Occasionally there is divine intervention of joy and delight, but the process is largely a commitment of love. It is work; work, like in my therapy office, work.
This launch comparison is apt for so many reasons, but I will stop writing in order not to bore you to tears with the details. I will, however, make this one last observation. I am okay with my book being a flop, and so not okay with my kids flopping out in the world. I will put a safety net around them by way of continuous support. Book, you are on your own. Good luck to ya.
The next 8 hr. Trust Based Parent Training is scheduled for April 23rd and 30th from 12noon to 4pm. $200 per couple. Childcare available for $30 each day, second child $10 additional. To sign up email Jen@attachplace.com and she will register you.