Self-Care: Back By Popular Demand

Dear Parents,

It’s the middle of the week.  What are you doing for yourself today?

Some of you parents have this down pat.  Raise your hand if this is you.  To you, I give maximum applause, and ovation even.  You have figured out that the best way to care for your special needs child(ren) is to start with yourself. Bravissimo!

If your hand lifted a little, but not all the way: Good for you! You are on your way to better parenting through self-care.

The rest of you–hands still on the keyboard–you are not alone.  Many of us have trouble making this paradigm shift. What can I do to encourage you?

Okay, here goes.  One question:  Have you lost your patience, temper, sanity with your child in the past week?


Then take a break and do something you haven’t done in a long time that would feel good. REGULATE.

Need ideas?  Here goes.

Eat a slice of cake from that bakery you love (Ignore calories today.)

Go for a hike to a lake, up a hill, around the block.

Go to the gym and work out; or don’t work out and soak in the hot tub or steam yourself in the sauna or read a trashy zine by the pool.


New shoes?

Take a scented bath.

Chat with a friend over tea and biscuits.

Take a slow walk in a place without playgrounds.

Eat a PB&J sandwich on a park bench with good people watching opportunities.

Check out a new art or museum installation.

Make your bed, open the windows, and lay naked in the breeze. Am I the only person who loves doing that?

Read a mindless romance novel or People Magazine will do.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Watch a R-rated movie in the middle of the day.

Make a beautiful, tasty salad for yourself just the way you like it–add lots of kid-hated veggies with grown up dressing.

Do a youtube Chi Gong session.

Clear off your messiest counter top.

Listen to music from the years you most loved music. Turn it up loud. Dance. Belt it out.

Make something, paint something, break something.


Do something you usually don’t let yourself do.

Do nothing.

Have sex in the middle of the afternoon.  No partner?  So.  Do it anyway.  It feels good.


The best parent is the one with the most rest.  Rest can look a bunch of different ways.  Pick one.

Love matters,


NEW THERAPEUTIC PARENTING WEBINAR: 6-Week Interactive Therapeutic Parenting Webinar, August 1 through September 7, 2017.  IN PROGRESS NOW.

UPCOMING THERAPEUTIC PARENTING CLASS: Sign up here for the next day long Therapeutic Parenting Class on September 9, 2017 from 9 am to 4 pm at The Attach Place, Sacramento, CA.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on August 9th, 2017! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827. Free child care provided.

TRY MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

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