Quick Learner


Mommy Dearest

I broke my Golden-Self-Care-Vacuuming-Rule this morning–in case YOU don’t know, it is: Vacuum Only Twice A Month no matter the shape of things–and I vacuumed a third time.  I have hardwood floors in my new house, so I am teetering on changing the Golden-Self-Care-Vacuuming-Rule in order to avoid the Retrospective-Self-Disgust-Bad Mother-Rule. I am weighing which one gives me the most grief–exhaustion from compulsive house cleaning or shame from being a bad mother with a filthy house. There it is. That is the dilemma.  What would Mother Teresa do?  
 
Never mind, that was a digression.  While I was vacuuming at 6:30 am, my son interrupted the process by urgently proclaiming, as if the house were on fire,  “Mom! Mom!! I’m a quick learner.”  
 
“Yaaa-yaaa right you are,” I say in my best dismissive Fargo accent. I’m sure my eyes rolled. His face looked slightly crestfallen and he retreated back to readying for school. Honest to goodness, I was just dumbfounded in the moment. QUICK LEARNER could only be printed on a little last place trophy.  You know. the kind of trophy he got from the Participant Trophybasketball team fiasco when he was 7 where he stood center court with both arms raised yelling, “Pick me, Pick me” for 15 games straight. Boy got a trophy. Boy is a tedious learner of the 10,000 drops of water on the forehead kind. Bless his little heart, because he tries really hard, but he is out-of-sync and that doesn’t lend to Quick Learning awards.
 
Still, after a few seconds, I knew what he was talking about. Yesterday, he learned three chords on his new electric guitar all in one day.  Feeling so much pride in himself, he wanted me to be proud, too. Darn it. If only at 6:30 am, before my second cappuccino, in the soothing roar of breaking the Golden-Self-Care-Vacuuming-Rule, I could have realized that.
 
Do over for Mommy Dearest.  “Hey Babe, I’m sorry. I just realized you are really proud of learning those chords and you caught on SO quickly.  I am glad you are proud of yourself and I am proud of you for sure.  You are a quick guitar learner (reframe).” He beamed ear to ear. Being loving is so easy when regulated (after savoring my second non-fat, half-packet-of-sugar, extra-frothy cappuccino with chocolate sprinkled on top.)
 
Ten minutes later, he was leaving for school, guitar and binder in hand. “Have a great day today honey. I love you. “And”…wait for it…”you might want to zip your pants.”  Yaaa-yaaa, right, a quick learner you are. I only thought that last part. I have some self-restraint. Teeny bit.
Love Matters,
The Attach Place Logo
Ce Eshelman, LMFT 
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