Punishment vs. Consequences

Most traditional parenting strategies will not work longterm with an attachment challenged child. However, it is important to allow natural and logical consequences to persist in your child’s life because it is the way of the world and children need to understand that over time. Still natural and logical consequences will likely not create huge behavior change.

A natural and logical consequence becomes punishment when you deliver it by withholding love and giving anger, disapproval, rage, put downs, rejection, hopelessness, and dismissiveness.

Negative emotional “consequencing” is punishment. It doesn’t work longterm to change behavior and it slices gashes on the heart of your relationship with your child. That punishment lasts a lifetime.Scared child

A loving, short talk is a logical consequence. That will change behavior faster than your expressed rage, disappointment, disgust, anger, frustration, rejection or dismissal.


Because a loving relationship changes the heart (otherwise known as the brain) of your child. Win-win.

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