Play Is For Now Work Is For Getting Done

Is it me or has life really started to get out-of-hand, too fast and too furious?  I spend most of my day talking to parents about playing– playing for yourself and playing with your children.  Have you ever noticed how a good laugh is better than an aspirin for what hurts? Or after a day at the spa with the wedding party or a leisurely round of golf, you can count on a good night’s sleep?  Or when you are sick as a dog (Why is that a saying?  My dog is rarely sick.) and really can’t do anything, have you noticed how nice it feels to actually do nothing? Well, that is the only reason I let myself get sick–to “do” nothing. Seems like there is a better way to get a day off–like plan one.  Heaven forbid I start playing a lot every day, right?  Nothing would ever get done!
Work and play are vastly different, polar opposites you might say. Work is all about the end game, accomplishing a goal, getting the job over and done, so we can stop.  Play is about being in the present moment, goalless, connecting, and allowing whatever happens happen.  Imagination, fantasy, and delight camp-out here.
Most of us have a tendency to come home from our goal oriented work or be home with our goal oriented tasks, just to set some more goals around getting dinner done, getting baths done, getting homework done, getting reading time done, getting the bedtime routine done, so we can…what?  Sleep.
I know I am preaching to the choir.  YOU know you are too busy to enjoy life; with the ballet and baseball, swimming and Girl Scouts, play dates and a zillion lists to help you keep all the balls in the air. Oh yeah, we all have Smartphones, so we have shared calendars that sync every minute (not lists anymore.)  I tell you, I am always up-to-date on the latest thing to do. I notice that one of my friends whose calendar I am synced with puts vacuuming the house on it. I don’t know why, but it seems funny-sad to me somehow.  And then I realize that I put similar funny-sad things on my calendar that she reads.
Slow down.  Your children need present play time with you, not a zillion extracurriculars.  Let the tasks go “undone” longer.  YOU need play for you, too. Cleanliness will not get you tickets into the Kingdom like you were told. Love will.  You know that bumper sticker LIVE, LOVE, LAUGH?  Bumper sticker gospel works for me. How about YOU?
Love Matters,
Ce Eshelman, LMFT
The Attach Place Logo The Attach Place provides a monthly no fee Trust-based Adoptive Parent Support Group in Sacramento, every 2nd Wednesday of each month.  Next group is June 10th at 6pm. Come join us.  Online RSVP each month required.   Child care provided.
We had a fun first half of the 10-hr. Trust-based Parenting Course  over the weekend.  Looking forward to Day 2 on Saturday.  Next course–July 25th and August 1st, 10am to 3pm each day.  Child care provided for an extra fee. Sign-up online at
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