I know you know this. Parenting was much simpler without the Internet. When I was a teenager in a small town (pre Instagram and Deep Web surfing ), my parents had only drive around a few hangouts to find me red-handed with Boone’s Farm Strawberry Wine and Budweiser boyfriends behind the A&W Root Beer stand. No kidding. This all seems rather bucolic now.
Children, especially teens who have difficulty in relationships are lured by the Internet into the dark underbelly of life they have no idea how to navigate. Extreme sexuality, gender challenging, and cross-country would-be paramours are only the beginning. The naivite of children from difficult beginnings turns the curious into victims of web trolls and pedophiles of the most devious sort.
One of my children is gender curious and not trusting me because I refuse to “support” the notion of a gender re-assignment decision that is relatively based on air. I might be wrong, but I don’t think so. I’ve been here with other parents over the years and never thought I would face it myself. Yet, here it is; out of the blue, like an angry seagull swooping down on the crown of my unsuspecting child.
Tough love tactics are all I have. No phone. No electronics. No access to the Internet by any means. There is gnashing of teeth and anger that actually scares me. My mind wanders to my bedroom door where I no longer have a lock, and I am reminded of an earlier time with my other child, where I felt compelled to sleep with one eye open.
I survived that time. I suspect I will survive this one, too. Raising children who were previously traumatized and abandoned is an ongoing challenge to my parental senses. I keep wondering what I did in my last life to be living this one now. Of course, I don’t believe in that…I just think about it sometimes.
Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents
by Ce Eshelman, LMFT
Drowning with My Hair on Fire is a lifeline for adoptive parents trying to navigate the choppy waters of raising adopted children from difficult beginnings. Author Ce Eshelman’s beautiful heart really shines through in the hundreds of letters to parents to read each day when needing hope, inspiration, advice, direction, reminders, or practical help. She deeply understands them and the chaos of their lives and families because she was there, but is now able to give them the wisdom culled from reading every book on the subject, attending hundreds of seminars and workshops, years of her own therapy, and fearlessly facing her own mistakes. If you are raising a traumatized, attachment-challenged child, Ce is the friend you want, and this is the book you need.
“Ce is the real deal. She’s one of those rare gems who deeply cares about the people she serves. She is willing to freeze frame and blow up her mistakes for you to see so you can avoid the same pitfalls. She then points to the path of secure attachment. The book itself is a secure base you can return to again and again when things get difficult at home.” —Jennifer Olden, LMFT, Certified EFT Therapist
Saturday, April 16th, 2016
11:30 am to 1:30 pm
3406 American River Drive, Ste. D
Sacramento, CA 95864
The next 8 hr. Trust Based Parent Training is scheduled for April 23rd and 30th from 12noon to 4pm. $200 per couple. Childcare available for $30 each day, second child $10 additional. To sign up email Jen@attachplace.com and she will register you.