Some of our children won’t make it to college, find jobs with reasonable living wages, or make life long soul mate commitments. Some will do it all. Along their paths, they may struggle. This is the reality for all parents and children. Life can be very difficult. Life can be very joyful. Attachment challenged children with special needs make these unknown futures especially scary for parents.
The antidote to fear is love. I believe this in my bones. My own fear-filled journey with my daughter recently was instantly transformed by realizing I had lost connection with my heart, my love, in favor of listening to too many critics about how I was supporting her. Once I listened to my own heart, the fear disappeared and I could actually be the mother my daughter needed–a present and loving one. She didn’t need my fear-informed reactions and fierce boundaries. She needed her Mom.
YOU cannot save anyone from their own trajectory. YOU can only hold them in your loving gaze and influence by example. You CAN surrender your fear and transform yourself into an attachment parent, who can hold the reality of your child’s life with empathy, kindness and love. That is attachment. Attachment is love. Love trumps fear.