Mindfulness Is A Door

Mindfulness is a door into regulation.  YOU can help your child learn to tolerate feelings, rather than try to get away from them.  In this way, the window of emotional tolerance widens. Our complex traumatized children have very narrow windows of tolerance for any heightened emotion, including excitement.  
 
What do you do to get them to tolerate their emotions?  Find a form of meditation the family can do at any time to find the still point inside themselves.
 
There is a fun box of cards you can purchase on Amazon called Yoga Pretzels.  I love this box because it is fun for kids to do. Get them to hold their poses as long as they can.  That is the still point. 
 
Sitting Criss Cross Applesauce, placing hands palm up, and slowly letting out a low key OOOOMMMM is the still point. 
 
Lighting a candle and focusing on it is finding the still point.  
 
Western culture is not very good at promoting stillness.  We are much more about distraction, addiction, avoidance, and denial. Finding the still point is probably the single most effective way to improve the quality of our lives–sit quietly in the still point 5 minutes every day and see how your life changes–if you dare.  
 
Be playful with your kids and tell them you are learning to find the quiet spot inside your mind.  Ask them to sit with you silently and see if they can find it inside themselves.  Do this for one minute every day for a week. Build up to five minutes over five weeks. When the whole family finds the still point inside their minds each day, there is a small reward.  YOU are in charge of the reward (make it small, but fabulous so they want to do it again and again and again.)  
 
Quiet sitting can compel mindfulness when dysregulation is at hand. Stop, drop and OOOMMM.  Hold it as long as you can and start again. Make it fun. Allow for silliness. YOU are encourage a bit of quiet regulation, then you can release your child meditators back to play–the real language of children.  
Love Matters,
Ce Eshelman, LMFT
The Attach Place Logo The Attach Place provides a monthly no fee Trust-based Adoptive Parent Support Group in Sacramento, every 2nd Wednesday of each month.  Next group is June 10th at 6pm. Come join us.  Online RSVP each month required.   Child care provided.
We had a fun first half of the 10-hr. Trust-based Parenting Course  over the weekend.  Looking forward to Day 2 on Saturday.  Next course–July 25th and August 1st, 10am to 3pm each day.  Child care provided for an extra fee. Sign-up online at www.attachplace.com.
The Attach Place supports The Wounded Warrior Project by providing free neurofeedback to veterans.  Feel free to send a soldier our way for an assessment and 20 session course of treatment.
Feel free to send this link to friends or family members who you would like to receive Daily YOU Time: Wisdom for Adoptive Parents.

“…Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.”  
                                                                     –T.S. Elliott
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