Magic Question

Sharing power is one of the best ways to get your challenging child to be a bit less, well, challenging.  When your child resists shifting from one thing to another, try this magic question:

Okay Sweetie Pie, time to go to bed.
“Noooooooo!!! I’m not done!”
How much more time do you think you need? This is the magic question.
“Ten minutes.”
Let’s compromise–five more minutes. 
“Awwwa, okay.”
Two minutes later, he is done and down the hall to the bedroom.

I know you don’t believe me, so start small and build up to bedtime.

Once my son had been sick in bed for two days.  I asked him, How much more time do you think you need?
“Uhh, I’m pretty sick.  My stomach really has been hurting.  Uh, a week?”
Let’s compromise–you’re getting your butt to school to-mor-row.
“It was worth a try, Mom.”
We giggled.  He went to school the next day.

Wow, crazy as it seems, I have raised a seriously reasonable kid.  I worried that would never happen.  I often had pathetically low faith, coupled with monumental fear. Good thing I kept putting one foot in front of the other.  Just like you.
Keep the faith. Keep walking forward.

Love Matters,

Ce Eshelman, LMFT

The Attach Place provides a monthly, no fee Trust-based Adoptive Parent Support Group in Sacramento, every 2nd Wednesday of each month.  Next group is November 11that a NEW time–5:30 pm. Join us.  Online RSVP each month required when you need child care. 

The Attach Place offers an 8-hr. Trust-based Parenting Course every other month.  Our next course dates areDecember 5th and 12th, 2015. Sign-up by calling 916-403-0588 x1 or email

The Attach Place supports The Wounded Warrior Project by providing free neurofeedback to veterans.  Feel free to send a soldier our way for an assessment and 20 session course of treatment.

Feel free to send this link to friends or family members who you would like to receive Daily YOU Time: Wisdom for Adoptive Parents.

Sometimes having faith in our challenged kids is like taking cough syrup when your cough has kept you up for three nights straight.  You know you have to do it to sleep, and you also know you seriously have to gag it down.  Well, that is a pleasant comparison.

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