Look At Me, Don’t Look

Dear Parent,

Living with so many young adults diagnosed with complex developmental trauma is, uh, interesting at best, and insane at worst.  I have four of them.  I am immersed in an ongoing study in relationship challenges.  All want my attention about everything. None want my input about anything.

I came home from work tonight with arms hugging bags of groceries, my briefcase and purse slung over one shoulder, and met four people lining up to talk to me.  I hadn’t even managed to put down my stuff.  Even the dogs were dancing around my feet for their greeting and well deserved chewies.

One wanted to talk about her hair.  One, her vegan dinner choice.  Another wanted to “show” me how the two new pairs of pants I bought him fit so well. And the next wanted to ask me something, but ended up just talking.

My hair cut suggestions caused a mini meltdown.  My question about the kind of noodles used to make the vegan dinner were met with blank stares.  The pants boy couldn’t stop following me around telling me that he was amazed that this size fit him so well that I ended up being dismissive.  And finally, the last was appreciative and apologetic for all the others badgering me, without realizing that he was also standing in line the whole time in order to talk to me about what turned out to be nothing.

Two of these kids have been like this since they arrived on my doorstep via the giant CPS stork.  I thought I could heal it all, and some did heal.  Some didn’t.  The best I can do is the best I can do. That is my self-soothing mantra. If you want to borrow it, you can.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships

Love matters,



​Jennifer Olden, LMFT presents a ​“Hold Me Tight​”​ Couples Workshop at The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships in Sacramento, CA on May 28-29th.  If you are looking to improve your relationship​,​ this workshop will teach you how to create a stronger bond, lessen conflict, and increase trust and intimacy.  Based on Dr. Sue Johnson’s model for couples therapy:  Emotionally Focused Therapy.  Proven effective. Research based. ​Read more and register here.

The next 8 hr. Trust Based Parent Training is scheduled for April 23rd and 30th from 12noon to 4pm.  $200 per couple.  Childcare available for $30 each day, second child $10 additional. To sign up email Jen@attachplace.com and she will register you.

Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is every second Wednesday of the month from 5:30pm to 7:30pm.  Group and childcare are free.
picture of cover
The public is invited to celebrate Ce Eshelman, LMFT’s new book, Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents at an open house with brunch bites and bubbly on April 16th, 2016, from 11:30am to 1:30pm.  RSVP here.  Probably not the best event for children though.
To purchase a book click here or go toAmazon.com. Leave a review, when you can.


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