The Duress of Launching the Attachment Challenged

Dear Parent,

I am working very hard to launch my adult, attachment challenged children.  It is down right painful. Basic life skills are excruciatingly challenging for them (and for me to observe).  My heart aches every day for their struggles; and yet, I feel I must persevere in being supportive, rather than rescuing.

My 19-year-old son is now living in a young adult board and care facility.  He likes it;  and, he misses home like an 11-year-old at overnight camp for the first time. He literally pines for me.  At the same time he loves his freedom to stay up all night playing video games with his new found friends–the ones in the home and the ones online that he decides to pledge his allegiance to after talking for a few days in text.

Today, my son is in a distant camp in the foothills near our home at California Conservation Corp Comet Program.  It is two weeks to get oriented into the CCC. The details of getting there (since they are communicating only with him) were sketchy at best.  With the help of his sister, he figured it out.  As I write this, my son is texting me that he didn’t bring tennis shoes and he has no hygiene supplies.  I wonder what he was thinking he was going to do while working in the foothills for two weeks without decent shoes and soap.

I cannot decide right this second if I will drive the hour up the hill tomorrow to

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

deliver shoes and soap, or not.  Natural consequences vs. genuine support?  That is my ever present question for both of my children.  Damn, this is hard.

Love matters,

Ce

picture of coverYou can find Ce’s book on Amazon.com or in The Attach Place Shop. Don’t forget to leave a review.

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The next 8-hr. Attachment- and Trauma-informed Therapeutic Parenting Workshop is specially scheduled for one day–July 23rd–from 9am to 5pm. We usually hold the training on two days, but this is an exception for those who cannot find time on two consecutive Saturdays to attend a training.  To register, go to attachplace.com/shop.  Childcare provided for an additional fee. 

Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is free and open to everyone. Meets the second Wednesday of every month from 6pm to 8pm.  Group and childcare are free. Please sign up at www.attachplace.com.

 

Comments

    • Ha, I just walked in after delivering shoes and hygiene stuff and read your comment. I know he needs a little extra help in life, so I gave it. It’s a mom thing, right?

    • Ha, I just walked in after delivering shoes and hygiene stuff and read your comment. I know he needs a little extra help in life, so I gave it. It’s a mom thing, right?

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