This morning my son woke up about 2 minutes before his ride for school was to show. Instead of popping up and getting clothes on, he ran toward the kitchen to take his meds like he always does.
Whoa, whoa, you have two minutes to get dressed, Goof-ball. Get dressed first and grab your meds on the way out the door!
Goof-ball stopped in his tracks, deer in the headlights style, then reluctantly (and very slowly, I might add) turned back toward his room.
In my infinite know-it-all condition I was thinking, This kid has no prefrontal cortex access to logical thinking.
Off-handedly, I asked him, “Why do you think it is so hard for you to make a little change that would help you do something more efficiently–like get out the door on time?” I wasn’t really expecting him to tell me his prefrontal cortex is underdeveloped. As a matter of fact, I have no idea why I persist in asking these kinds of questions. One might wonder about the capacity of my pre-frontal cortex.
He said, “I don’t like change. Change scares me, so that’s why.”
Huh, wrong part of the brain, Ms. Know-It-All. He is all limbic all the time. Of-course, that IS the reason he has so little access to his neo-cortical functions.
Ta-Da! Ms. Know-It-All retakes her slim lead in the I Know More Than An Eighteen Year Old Game we play around here.
Ce Eshelman, LMFT
Change is scary for our kids, even tiny changes in the daily routine.
Next Trust-based Parent Course is planned for March 28th and April 4th. Save the date.
Next Hold Me Tight Couples workshop by Robin Blair, LMFT at The Attach Place is planned for April 17th, 18th and 19th.
The Attach Place supports The Wounded Warrior Project by providing free neurofeedback to veterans. Feel free to send a soldier our way for an assessment.
Feel free to send this link to friends or family members who you would like to sign-up for Daily YOU Time: Wisdom for Adoptive Parents.