Humans express fear in many ways. Parents often misread the behavior of their children as defiant, rude, oppositional, stubborn, willful, rejecting, negative, unmotivated, selfish, greedy, heartless or fake. When you see those behaviors in children from difficult beginnings, you can bet money on fear being the culprit deep within. Trauma from abuse and attachment separation is frozen in the psyche of our children.
To change these undesirable behaviors, parents must keep calm and carry on with the healing power of corrective parenting–empathy, structure, nurture, training, and repetition. It takes years to transform felt fear into felt safety. That is your number one job as a therapeutic parent–slowing bringing your child out of the dark basement of fear into the light of a new loving family life.
Faint of heart, need not apply. It takes nerves of steel to keep your wits about you, so be sure you get respite. Without respite, you will find yourself expressing fear in your parenting.
The next 8 hr. Trust Based Parent Training is scheduled for February 20th and 27th from 12noon to 4pm. $200 per couple. Childcare available for $30 each day. To sign up email Jen@attachplace.comand she will register you.
Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is every second Wednesday of the month from 5:30pm to 7:30pm. Group and Childcare are Free.
Look for Ce Eshelman’s Upcoming Book
Drowning With My Hair On Fire
Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents
Expected Publication Date: February 15, 2016
Drowning with My Hair On Fire is a compilation of over 175 daily support letters to parents of adoptive children and other children from difficult beginnings. With a forward by Dave Ziegler, Ph.D. and a brief personal memoir, this publication is a response to blog-reader requests for a book of letters that can be easily returned to day after day, when inspiration is hard to find.
Praise for Drowning with My Hair On Fire…
This woman saved our family. This book will save your sanity! After years (and many therapists) of getting it wrong, Ce Eshelman got our traumatized family on the right path to attachment, sanity, and big big love. Ce’s unique therapy is grounded in the latest brain research, her own struggles raising traumatized children, and work with hundreds of families like ours. Her stories, contained in this book, are our stories: full of pain, confusion, hope, faith, love and practical magic that really works.
Elaine Smith, Adoptive Mother
Ce’s daily blog has been a lifesaver, particularly when days are most dreary and hopeless. Not only have her words of empathy proven to be priceless to our family, but I have often forwarded them on to others. Such a comfort to feel understood, with no judgment.
Patty O’Hair, Adoptive Mother
In a real sense “Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents” is a daily mediation of struggle, success, failure and getting up and trying again. If that sounds like too much to subject yourself to then don’t adopt a challenging child. And one more thing, shouldn’t we require prospective adoptive parents to read “Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents” rather than another ‘All they need is love’ manual?
Dave Ziegler, Ph.D., founder of Jasper Mountain Center and author of many books on raising children from difficult beginnings.