Humans express fear in many ways. Parents often misread the behavior of their children as defiant, rude, oppositional, stubborn, willful, rejecting, negative, unmotivated, selfish, greedy, heartless or fake. When you see those behaviors in children from difficult beginnings, you can bet money on fear being the culprit deep within. Trauma from abuse and attachment separation is frozen in the psyche of our children.
To change these undesirable behaviors, parents must keep calm and carry on with the healing power of corrective parenting–empathy, structure, nurture, training, and repetition. It takes years to transform felt fear into felt safety. That is your number one job as a therapeutic parent–slowing bringing your child out of the dark basement of fear into the light of a new loving family life.
Faint of heart, need not apply. It takes nerves of steel to keep your wits about you, so be sure you get respite. Without respite, you will find yourself expressing fear in your parenting.
Love matters,
Ce
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