The Imagination Is Worse Than Reality With Traumatized Children

Dear Parents,

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

As a fellow parent, I know what it is like to be scared senseless by TV movies about attachment challenged children, about News reports of foster children killing parents, and my imagination in the face of truly unbelievable, unrelenting shenanigans by my children. Much of my own dysregulation was caused by my ever-present fear of the future hovering around me. Sometimes I could feel the breath of fear, rank and hot on my neck.

Do yourself a favor:  only think of your children in the present. They are not your future nightmare.  They are children. They are traumatized, wounded children.

Difficult?  Oh yes.  Hurting and hurtful?  Certainly.  Criminals and killers?  Not usually.  Can they become criminals and killers?  Yes, just like the rest of the population. News flash: most criminals and killers are raised by their biological parents.

Put your fears away and bring your empathy, tenacity, and love out for the rest of their childhood.  Don’t let the sensational, unusual, or imaginal destroy your ability to love freely with hope now. Remember that attachment challenged brains are delayed emotionally.  Even if you have a terrible teen, calculate the true emotional age (about half the chronological age). Still pretty darned young, right?

Love matters,


The Attach Place Upcoming Events Calendar

Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on November 10, 2018, from 10 am to 4 pmChildcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Register here or on our website!

AUTISM Support Group:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. November 19, 2018from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to so we get enough snacks. This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Click Here to join our monthly  Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on November 14, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.


Neurofeedback Solutions for reducing the intensity of Developmental Trauma symptoms in foster and adoptive children and their parents.  Get more information here.

Change Your Child’s Brain / Change Your Child’s Life



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