If You Give A Mouse A Car…

Dear Parents,

I hesitate to tell this story for fear you will judge me insane, stupid, or just really stupid. Oh heck, you must already know what I am (a mother of attachment challenged children), so what’s to lose?  In the last two years I have given my 20-year-old daughter four cars. Yep, you read that right–four.

In my defense, she has a two year old disabled child, and I keep trying to make her life more reasonable; hence, the cars.  Admittedly, three of the four I gave were not of the beautiful people kind, and actually my daughter can’t even drive; so, theoretically, I gave the cars in her name to her boyfriend so he could drive her around.

Despite the fact that my daughter is my first born (and therefore my shiny, prototype child), her boyfriend picker is broken.  The driver boyfriend was at best not a good one, and at worst a complete driving idiot. Two mini vans and a PT Cruiser later, she dumped him and a few months later acquired a new one to drive her around.  So, of course, I acquired the fourth car. I decided to lift her out of beater car hell and elevate her to Prius land. She still can’t drive, so her new driver boyfriend is very happy.

A couple of days ago I went to work around 3am (I do that sometimes) and around 6am my phone blew up with texts: Mom did you take the car keys by mistake?  We can’t find them anywhere.  We have looked, Mom, everywhere.  We think we locked them in the glove box (not possible, it is a Prius.)

A few days before that I received a different frantic string of texts:  Mom, we are at the gas station and we cannot figure out how to put the gas in.  We have been here for 20 minutes and we can’t get the cap open.  We need to get gas, Mom, can you call us?  No, no I can’t.

One day before that:  Mom, we got a coupon for a free car wash and we have just rolled straight through it. The car didn’t even get washed.  We looked online and it says there is something about the drive train in Prius’ and other people have had this problem, too.  Mom, can you call us? We are here and no one knows why the car just drives through by itself when it is in neutral…  Oh, never mind Mom, we didn’t really have it in neutral.  We got it, Mom, never mind.  Sorry to bother you.

Upshot, these people should not be allowed on public roads; and the keys, to date, have not been found.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships

Love matters, I think.


Ce Eshelman, LMFT is the author of Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents and an Attachment Specialist at The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships.

The next 8 hr. Trust Based Parent Training is scheduled for April 23rd and 30th from 12noon to 4pm.  $200 per couple.  Childcare available for $30 each day, second child $10 additional. To sign up email Jen@attachplace.com and she will register you.

Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is every second Wednesday of the month from 5:30pm to 7:30pm.  Group and childcare are free.


​Jennifer Olden, LMFT presents a ​“Hold Me Tight​”​ Couples Workshop at The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships in Sacramento, CA on May 28-29th.  If you are looking to improve your relationship​,​ this workshop will teach you how to create a stronger bond, lessen conflict, and increase trust and intimacy.  Based on Dr. Sue Johnson’s model for couples therapy:  Emotionally Focused Therapy.  Proven effective. Research based. ​Read more and register here.

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