Holiday Time Is A Dysregulation Time

Dear Parents,

I accidentally erased my blog post so I am trying again.  My passion gets a bit dampened when the computer gremlins go to work undoing my work, but I will raise it back up for you.  You deserve a little boost right now.  Afterall, it’s the holidays!

A prepared parent is a happy one, usually.  Be prepared for dysregulation so it doesn’t throw you off.  Your kids are going to build up into a happy tizzy before all is said and done.  That is okay, right?  This is your real life, your real kids, and the real deal.  Hold structure the best you can, even if Grammy Mildred thinks you are too hard on your babies.  You know it is what they need.  Grammy probably doesn’t get it.  She doesn’t live with them day in and out or she would get it.  Try not to be too hard on those who are living without the daily ups and downs.  When you get advice, thank the advisor and move along.  No need to explain, correct, or enlighten; that will just ruin your holiday.  Take plenty of play breaks with your children.  Get away outside when visiting others for a few minutes to spin or cartwheel or kick a ball.  Take a plastic container of fidgets and sensory objects for soothing.  A weighted blanket can be helpful when you find your child hiding under the table in a rocking fit of shutdown.  Most importantly, remember that your regulation is a wonderful holiday gift to yourself and your children.  Don’t let anyone or anything talk you out of yours.  Merry days my beautiful parents.  I am sending you big LOVE this season and all through the New Year.  Cheers.

Love matters,


Upcoming Events and Things in Sacramento…

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or discounted at

Reminder: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. January 19, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–6-8 yrs group and 9 to 11 yrs group.  The groups will be $20 per session, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  Groups will begin in January 2018.  Contact Jen at for more details.

If you haven’t responded to the Capital Adoptive Family Alliance (California residents only) survey about needs you have for your family while raising adopted children, here is the linkFill it out now!  That is my way of encouraging everyone to answer the survey questions to the best of your ability. You can skip anything that you don’t want to answer.  This is a way to get funding channeled to adoptive parents.  Super special opportunity for all of us adoptive families who need financing for services.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on January 10th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.


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