Dear Parent,
It is so tempting to think our children with wounded hearts are doing what they do on purpose. Somehow if it were on purpose, then it follows we would have hope that it could change by will power, incentive, desire or fear.
Unfortunately, hope springs more from seeing with clear eyes the child who stands before us imperfect in need of acceptance, than in the angry presumption that it is stubbornness, opposition, and hatefulness in need of punishment.
Providing safety, training, understanding, empathy, gentle correction and repetition beyond belief slowly allows the development of the part of the brain where the “brakes” live undeveloped. Imagine being a train without brakes; a car stuck on go, or a bike speeding downhill without a chain. Our children are like that, just itching to grow up into a stable brain.
Parents, take the high road every chance you get. From that elevated place, the perspective is deep and wide. From the low road, there are only embankments, ditches, hairpin turns and sinkholes ahead. It is a choice we all struggle to make.
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