The purpose of parenting is to provide children with unconditional love, kind and consistent care, and socialization to live peacefully and productively in the world. This focus leads to secure adults with internal working models of self-love, reciprocity with others, and compassionate civility toward all. This takes the entire length of childhood and sometimes long into adulthood to develop. With hurting children, that last sentence needs to be emphasized: This takes the entire length of childhood and sometimes long into adulthood to develop.
Parents, resist the urge to be in a hurry to get your children across the finish line. When children are recovering from attachment and abuse trauma, they first need to heal into a felt sense of safety. Providing safety alone is enough. Healing is when the child begins to feel inside a sense of safety. That felt sense comes only after living many years in a safe home with loving, empathic parents. Yep, years.
Being in a rush for your children to become efficient rule followers, good choice makers, and strong moral reasoners is not only frustrating when it doesn’t happen quickly, but it is also the very thing that will slow felt safety from growing within your child.
Let kindness, acceptance, curiosity, playfulness, structure, and empathy be your overriding parenting principles to bring forth the whole heart and brain of your child. It will all come online in time.
Be patient. Be patient. Be patient.
SPECIAL REPEAT: Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on July 14th, 2018 from 9 am to 4 pm. Childcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Register here or on our website!
Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on July 14th, 2018 from 9 am to 4 pm. Childcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Register here or on our website!
AUTISM Support Group: Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. July 20th, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm. Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE. ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.
NEW! 5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs and 8-10 yrs. groups. The 5-wk group will be $125 total, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too. New groups will begin again August 4th, 2018. Click here for more information.
UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT: Click Here to join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on July 11th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.
GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT. Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing. At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.