What is that quote from Einstein? “You cannot solve a problem with the same level of thinking that caused the problem in the first place.” Actually, I am not sure that that is the exact quote, nor that it was said by Einstein, but I am going with it because it serves my purpose. If he didn’t say it, I am sure he would have agreed with whomever did say it, right?
I am so grateful for a new day, a new chance to see through a different viewfinder. Yesterday, I was all sour and sad and pathetic. And I sure needed a good cry and a couple shoulders to hold me while I did it. Time to pick myself up, dust off my soiled clothes and dirty hands, and think circles instead of boxes, inside or outside of them, as it were.
Focusing on my son’s lying problem is causing more lying. I know that. I can see it every day. So, true to form, I keep focusing on the lying every day. That is the same old thinking and it is getting me more of the same old problem.
There is a super sure-fire cure for lying. Up your empathy, expect the obvious (lying), and accept re-viewing, re-phrasing, re-doing, re-remembering, re-evaluating, re-inventing, re-seeing, re-explaining, re-visiting, and re-telling until your child settles on what is the last re-vision. Then re-joice because, little by little, your child is re-wiring for the truth.
This method happens to take the patience of a cat observing a mouse for the kill. My personal opinion: The answers to the great conundrums of the Universe are usually found in the ways of dogs and cats. Wag on, my friends, wag on and purr a lot.
Ce Eshelman, LMFT
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