Fierce or Funny

Troubled Boy



Sometimes the gravity of raising an attachment challenged child makes parents focus on every last negative behavior as if it might be the one that sends their child over the edge and straight to jail in adulthood. Right?

Some of us are so incredibly scared by the constant behaviors of attachment challenged children, that we treat them like they are candidates for perpetrating Columbine or Newtown style massacres. Let me remind YOU: Those tragedies were committed by biological children living in the homes of their biological families, not attachment challenged children living in the homes of their adoptive families.

I am not discounting the “hell” some of you are living in. I know that is real, and continually threatens your sanity; however, the fear of eminent tragedy has loving people parenting fiercely and without humor. This is my point–playful correction is easier than it seems and super effective.

Last week one of my colleagues shared that her three-year-old son was introduced to the F-word in preschool and couldn’t get enough of saying it all over the place.

Swearing BoySwearing BoySwearing Boy

Since he is possessed with a three-year-old oppositional nature, she was quick on her feet to say in response to his superlative repetitions, “Just don’t call me MUSTARD!” Of-course, mustard was all he could think of calling out after that.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

We can get freaked out and fierce, or we can be playful and silly. Which do you think will support the parent/child relationship?

Love Matters,
Ce Eshelman, LMFT and Mother
Attachment Specialist

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