Drowning On Fire

K.E. Leong is a teacher, writer, and single mother of a 6 yr. old. In MuthaMagazine.com (I both like and recoil at this name) she writes:

Single parenthood is like drowning and being on fire at the same time and everyone will go on and on about how beautiful the spectacle is—how strong you are, what brave work you’re doing, how they could never do something so incredible.

I could easily have written this with only a little augmentation to the first two words. I am sure YOU feel like that sometimes. For me, it was a lot of time.

I felt that way so much because I couldn’t find help anywhere and I didn’t know what was going on. If you are getting this blog, you know what is going on, so it is on YOU to take the bull by the horns. Find help. It’s out there. In the last 10 years there has been an avalanche of attachment research papers, books, and blogs. By golly, many therapists nowadays know what the word attachment means. Some even know what attachment challenged means. I’ve even bumped in one or two who understand Complex Developmental Trauma. We are cooking with duck fat now.

Still, therapy is not the only answer, is it? Many of YOU are getting help, some from me, and you still feel like your are on fire and drowning. I know. Outside help is good, but it’s the inside of YOU that matters in the long run. YOU have to learn to swim in a tsunamic family life that feels like it is catching your hair on fire with a blow torch from behind.

To that end–as a therapist and crispy wet mom of two extremely disordered complex developmentally traumatized children–if I had it to do all over again (thank my Lucky Charms I don’t), I would be the one in therapy twice a week and my children would get most of the healing from me (plus a few rounds of neurofeedback for the whole family on top of meds for a few of us.)

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Love Matters,
Ce Eshelman, LMFT

Do they have an extinguisher-life-raft suited for this kind of thing?

Next Trust-based Parent Course is planned for March 28th and April 4th. Save the date.

Next Hold Me Tight Couples workshop by Robin Blair, LMFT at The Attach Place is planned for April 17th, 18th and 19th.

The Attach Place supports The Wounded Warrior Project by providing free neurofeedback to veterans. Feel free to send a soldier our way for an assessment.

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