Dear YOU No Hashtag

Turns out it is easier to write a new Daily YOU Time late than it is to send old ones on time.  I am letting go of getting it done uniformly every day in favor of just getting on with life the way I enjoy it–one email at a time, when I find the time.  I know YOU can relate to this.  Doing it all is tough sometimes.  Just got to go with the flow, even when the flow is more like Niagara Falls after the thaw.
I don’t know about YOU, but I sometime feel like I am caught in some weird reverse osmosis echo chamber (Scientists, I beg you to resist telling me my science is faulty.) My echo chamber goes something (exactly really) like this on a regular basis.
My son: “Mom, I see you moved my computer from the garage. I was wondering when you were going to do that.”
Me, knowingly lighthearted:  “Because it was tempting you to break the rules?”
My son, emphatically: “No, I just keep seeing it when I go down there and I have to resist doing something I know I will get in trouble for.”
Me: “Huh,” with a V-8 smash to the forehead (mine, not his.)
If this unscientific reverse osmosis echo chamber happens at your house, trust this:  You child is being literal, not disrespectful.  If the words do not exactly match the thoughts, then “No” with a near identical sentiment is going to follow. It isn’t as oppositionally defiant as it feels.  It is truly more about rigidity of thought in the executive function part of the brain.  Try not to feel corrected by your Munchkin, as that is likely not your child’s intention.  
Our children are usually simply trying to be “exactingly” right.  Being right is important, because the alternative is being WRONG, which invokes an intolerable shame spiral.  Show compassion in the face of this kind of opposition.  YOU can take the high road.  Your child often cannot.
Love Matters,
Ce Eshelman, LMFT
The Attach Place Logo The Attach Place announces the beginning of our monthly no fee Trust-based Adoptive Parent Support Group in Sacramento, every 2nd Wednesday of each month.  Come join us.  Online RSVP each month required.   Child care provided.
Next Trust-based Paren Workshop  is planned for March 14th and March 15th, 10am to 3pm each day,  in a back-to-back, two-day format. Sign up online at
Next Hold Me Tight Couples Workshop by Robin Blair, LMFT at The Attach Place is planned for April 17th, 18th and 19th.
The Attach Place supports The Wounded Warrior Project by providing free neurofeedback to veterans.  Feel free to send a soldier our way for an assessment.
Feel free to send this link to friends or family members who you would like to receive Daily YOU Time: Wisdom for Adoptive Parents.

Compassion. Empathy. Acceptance. Playful. Love.


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