Complex Trauma Is Harmful

Wisdom For Adoptive Parents

Dear Parent,

If you are looking to adopt a child from difficult beginnings, think twice; three times. Children with complex trauma have wounds that are profound. They need a special kind of parent–a parent who gets how to therapeutically raise a child with a broken heart. It takes way more than love. It takes tenacity, time, effort, big heart, perseverance, stamina, dedication, regulation, high tolerance for chaos, grit and altruistic love. Altruistic love means this: parents give love when they do not get it back for a very, very long time–sometimes never. Survival need and love are not the same. Children from difficult beginnings have survival need love. Love matters, and from traumatized children it is not without extreme survival need.

The next 8 hr. Trust Based Parent Training is scheduled for February 20th and 27th from 12 noon to 4 pm. $200 per couple. Childcare available for $30 each day. To sign up email Jen@attachplace.comand she will register you.

Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is every second Wednesday of the month from 5:30 pm to 7:30 pm. Group and childcare are free.

Look for Ce Eshelman’s Upcoming Book

Drowning With My Hair On Fire

Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents

Expected Publication Date: February 15, 2016

Drowning with My Hair On Fire is a compilation of over 175 daily support letters to parents of adoptive children and other children from difficult beginnings. With a forward by Dave Ziegler, Ph.D. and a brief personal memoir, this publication is a response to blog-reader requests for a book of letters that can be easily returned to day after day, when inspiration is hard to find.

Praise for Drowning with My Hair On Fire…

Ce’s daily blog has been a lifesaver, particularly when days are most dreary and hopeless. Not only have her words of empathy proven to be priceless to our family, but I have often forwarded them on to others. Such a comfort to feel understood, with no judgment.

Patty O’Hair, Adoptive Mother

In a real sense “Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents” is a daily mediation of struggle, success, failure and getting up and trying again. If that sounds like too much to subject yourself to then don’t adopt a challenging child. And one more thing, shouldn’t we require prospective adoptive parents to read “Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents” rather than another ‘All they need is love’ manual?

Dave Ziegler, Ph.D., founder of Jasper Mountain Center and author of many books on raising children from difficult beginnings.

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