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May 11th Therapeutic Parent Training

Dear Parents:

Mark your calendars for our upcoming Therapeutic Parenting Training.

Traditional parenting cannot heal the wounded hearts of traumatized children. Therapeutic parenting can.

This adoption and trauma-informed training will help you find your way with a comprehensive approach to parenting children from difficult beginnings.  The workshop will cover the following topics:

  • Complex Developmental Trauma vs. Reactive Attachment Disorder
  • Brain-based Parenting Strategies
  • Impact of Attachment Styles on Parenting Attachment-Challenged Children
  • Conquering Parental Reactivity
  • Zones of Regulation
  • Trust-based Relational Intervention (TBRI)–Empowering, Connecting, Correcting
  • Parenting with P.A.C.E.

Get support, information, coaching, and understanding of what you are experiencing as a parent.

Who Should Attend?

You, if you are a relative, caregiver, guardian, or adoptive parent of a child(ren) from difficult beginnings—maltreatment, neglect, trauma, attachment breach, drug exposure, difficult pregnancy, and/or birth trauma.  This is the help you have been looking for, especially if you have tried everything.

May 11th, 2019   10am to 4pm

Light lunch provided. Bring your own special diet lunch.

Registration required. Cost is $100 per person. No tickets will be issued, but a spot will be reserved for you. This training can be reimbursed by CALVCB.

THIS WORKSHOP IS PROVIDED BY CE ESHELMAN, LMFT, CERTIFIED TBRI PRACTITIONER.

The Attach Place Upcoming Events Calendar

SIGN UP HERE: Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held May 11th, 2019  from 10 am to 4 pm.  Childcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Stay tuned for the exact dates.

Girl’s Empowerment Group (ages 9-11): Registration Closed. Begins April 13th from 1:00pm to 2:30pm for four weeks–$30 per session.  Ce Eshelman, LMFT and Andrea Kersten, B.A./B.S. will be using art and improv to create relationship skills for making and keeping friends.

AUTISM Support Group:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public.  NEW DAY: Every third Monday from 5:30 to 7pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks. This is a  monthly social group for the youth; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. There will also be occasional fun field trips, like bowling, ice skating, roller skating, etc. A donation of $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  CLICK HERE to join our monthly  Adoptive Parent Support Group, May 8th, 2019.  Childcare provided at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827. Open to the public.

GIVE A BOOK OF SUPPORT TO A FELLOW PARENT ON THE ADOPTION JOURNEY: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  Buy from Amazon or order a discounted copy here.

How to set healthy boundaries in your marriage

How to set healthy boundaries in your marriage

To have a healthy relationship with your spouse, you need to be able to set boundaries. Boundaries are personal demarcations that delineate one area of your physical or your emotional space from another.

The first step of setting boundaries is actually the most important, because in accomplishing this step, you must clearly define to yourself what your boundaries are. Once you’re able to firmly distinguish your boundaries, you will (hopefully) be able to communicate them to your partner, and he or she will (hopefully) honor them.

There are different types of boundaries. There are physical boundaries, which include your body, your privacy, and your personal space. Some violations of your physical boundaries would be touching someone inappropriately or going through your partner’s phone.

There are emotional boundaries as well, and these boundaries will work mostly with your feelings. Negative associations with emotional boundaries include blaming others, sacrificing your own needs for someone else’s, and taking responsibility for another person’s actions.

Regardless if your partner is well-equipped to handle your boundaries, it’s important to articulate them in your relationship. Even if your spouse is being resistant to communicating about boundaries, either theirs or yours, it will do you good to set them anyways. Places like the Attach Place offer couples therapy where a licensed therapist creates a safe space to set boundaries in your relationship.

Here are some more tips to strengthen your marriage and set healthy boundaries.

Communicate: For any sort of relationship to function well, there must be communication. Some people find it difficult to talk about feelings, but even the simplest communication about how you’re feeling can be enlightening to your partner, and also a relief.

If you need to take some time to collect your thoughts, that’s fine, but don’t let that extend into avoiding the conversation altogether. If you need some prompts, write them down and, if you feel overwhelmed, let them guide you.

Never assume: The best communication is often the bluntest. The reason that communication works so well is because we rarely actually know what’s going inside another’s person’s head, even if we know that person really well. Never assume you know what your partner is feeling or thinking unless they have told you.

Follow through: If you’ve been able to be clear with your spouse and have laid out a plan of action, follow through. For example, if you’ve decided as a couple that you might benefit from couples therapy, take the time to make an appointment and coordinate with your spouse. Although sometimes it’s the thought that counts, this is not so in emotional work. Carry out what you’ve promised.

Take responsibility: Own up to what you’ve done in order to make the most progress in establishing healthy boundaries in your relationship. If you’ve done or said something, the best course of action is to admit to it and move on. It makes people angry to be faced with outright denial, and it does nothing to support an atmosphere of mutual respect.

Apologize genuinely: If you need to apologize for something, don’t make an apology unless you’re really sorry. An insincere apology does no one any good. This goes both ways – when your partner reaches out to genuinely apologize for an action, see if you truly do forgive them, and grant them forgiveness.

Know when to let go: Relationships sometimes run a natural course. Two people come together, experience and grow together, and sometimes their paths diverge. The best thing to do in this scenario is to part ways in as loving a manner as you can muster. Break-ups are unpleasant, to put it mildly, but imagine looking back at the experience from years in the future. As angry or sad as you are in the moment, try and remember the whole arc of the relationship. And then let go.

Relationships change and mature over time, and your relationship with yourself will often determine the health and wellness of your other relationships. Defining your personal boundaries and articulating them to your spouse is difficult. Individual therapy at a place like the Attach Place can help you set healthy boundaries, leading to a stronger marriage. You and your spouse are worth it.

Despicable Me

Dear Parent:

Our traumatized kids do some despicable things.  If any one of us did them, we would be nothing short of mortified.  Yet, our children often angrily blame others for their actions or deny culpability or insist it didn’t happen at all.  The feeling of living in crazy town gets magnified for parents during these times.  Caution: dysregulation zone ahead.

I know our kids often seem like they are the best thing since ice cream. Really, they feel like they are evil to the core, so why not act like it. They don’t understand themselves or their behaviors.  They just do stuff.  They feel shameful. And they don’t care. They don’t care, because they can’t stand how terrible their feeling feel. It’s better to feel nothing.

Our kids are busy as bunnies trying to fill-up the cavernous holes they often feel inside their hearts.  If they just had that one thing, got to go to that one place, got to wear that one see-through dress, got that one girl, got someone to have sex with…the list goes on.  They are constantly doing things that they think will do the trick, ease their nagging emptiness.  When the first thing doesn’t fill it up, they try the next and the next and the next.  Rarely do they have the insight to stop and say, “Maybe I am chasing the wrong things.”  

It is our therapeutic parenting task to unfold with our children their fierce drives, their survival modes, their repetitive patterns. We must do that with intensely accepting empathy for their feelings, their behavior, and their true infantile needs.  Above all, we must not shame them for despicable behavior in a misguided attempt to make them change their behavior. They already feel ashamed and it hasn’t stopped them yet. Another dose of shame will not be the answer.

The answer is: “up the empathy.” Empathy is the antidote to shame. That is why therapeutic parenting is so hard and why you need more support than you are probably getting to have consistent, predictable empathy.

Love matters,

Ce

The Attach Place Upcoming Events Calendar

Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held in April 2019 from 10 am to 4 pm.  Childcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Stay tuned for the exact dates.

AUTISM Support Group:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public.  NEW DAY: Every third Monday from 5:30 to 7pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks. This is a  monthly social group for the youth; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. There will also be occasional fun field trips, like bowling, ice skating, roller skating, etc. A donation of $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  CLICK HERE to join our monthly  Adoptive Parent Support Group, March 13, 2019.  Childcare provided at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827. Open to the public.

GIVE A BOOK OF SUPPORT TO A FELLOW PARENT ON THE ADOPTION JOURNEY: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  Buy from Amazon or order a discounted copy here.

Time for Hindsight

Dear Parent,
The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

This morning I found myself thinking about how hard I tried to get both of my children to fit into “normal.”  I wanted them to want the things for their lives I wanted for them. That’s telling, isn’t it? I eventually let go of these wants, or maybe I was forced by the reality of my children’s lives to accept them on their terms.  It took me a while to see that I needed to advocate with “normal” systems for my children, rather than insisting my children contort themselves into what was expected.  I imagine a cartoon line-drawing of giant, puffy-pillow children being stuffed into tiny little boxes by a harried woman with her hair on fire.  The caption reads The Good Mother. Frankly, my children couldn’t do all that was expected.  They didn’t want for themselves what I wanted for them because they were busy surviving each day, while I had the luxury of “felt safety” and the ability to imagine fearfully toward their futures. Of course, like all parents, I needed to think about the future for them when they couldn’t for themselves, but that sometimes blinded me in the moment and I lost sight of what was most important—creating a safe, regulated family life for them in which to heal. In the beginning I forced them, by hook or by crook (No idea what that really means, but you get the picture, right?), into regular school hours, traditional classroom settings, curricula focused on higher test scores, behaving well, obeying well, playing well, and, all in all, engaging the world well–emphasis on well. That was a lot to ask, too much to ask, from my children who were robbed of personal boundaries, sacred birthrights, attachment security, and fundamental felt safety in their first two years of life. These are the musings of a mother with grown children who has the delicious abundance of time to look back and think about what she might have done differently to ease the fear, suffering, and disturbance of the early years of her children in their unfamiliar, new home.  I’m sharing this with you in the hope your children might benefit from the missteps, mishaps, mistakes, and musings of this parent who previously traversed the tumultuous terrain now set out before you. Love matters, Ce

The Attach Place Upcoming Events Calendar

Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held in January 12th 2019, from 10 am to 4 pm.  Childcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Register on our website!

AUTISM Support Group:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public.  Look for new day and time in January TBD next year.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks. This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Click Here to join our monthly  Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on December 12, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

GIVE A BOOK OF SUPPORT TO A FELLOW PARENT ON THE ADOPTION JOURNEY: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  Buy from Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

Time Sensitive: Free OnLine ATN Parenting Summit Starts Nov. 8

Dear Parents,

Register today because this free online parenting summit starts tomorrow, Nov. 8th, 2018.

Attachment and Trauma Network is gearing up to air their Trauma-Sensitive Parenting Summit interviews, Nov 8-14.  The interviews will each be live for 24 hours (actually 28+ hours with time zone changes – the link is usually up by midnight eastern and stays up until we take it down early the following morning…).  On each daily summit page there will be links to be able to view the interview as a video, listen to it as an audio file or read the transcript.  People who have registered to attend the free summit will receive a daily email with a link to this page(This is the only way they get the link!) Please encourage those in your sphere of influence to register at  www.attachmenttraumanetwork.org/summit

The airing schedule is as follows:

Thurs, Nov 8

●       Keynote:  Integration & Awareness

Dr. Daniel J. Siegel

Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA’s School of Medicine

Los Angeles, CA

Interviewer:  TIffany Sudela-Junker

●       ATN Roundtable Discussion:  What is Trauma-Sensitive Parenting?

Four of ATN’s Trauma-Sensitive, Therapeutic Parenting Leaders:

o   Tiffany Sudela-Junker

o   Lorraine Schneider

o   Stephanie Garde, JD

o   Julie Beem, MBA

 

Fri, Nov 9

●       Supporting & Educating Therapeutic Parents in the UK and around the World

Sarah Naish

CEO of National Association of Therapeutic Parents and Manager Director of Inspire Training Group, United Kingdom

Interviewer:  Julie Beem

●       Parenting a Child with a History of Trauma

Ce Eshleman, LMFT

Founder of The Attach Place, Sacramento, CA

Interviewer:  Stephanie Garde

●       What Trauma Does to Our Children’s Brains

Julie Beem, MBA

Executive Director of Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN)

Marietta, GA

Interviewer:  Stephanie Garde

Sat, Nov 10

●       The Legacy of Attachment:  Understanding How My Own History Impacts My Parenting

Karen Buckwalter, LCSW

Director of Program Strategy, Chaddock, Quincy, IL

Interviewer:  Julie Beem

●       Self-Regulation and the Traumatized Child

Allison Cooke Douglas

Therapeutic Parent and Education & Training Coordinator of Harmony Family Center’s ASAP Program, Knoxville, TN

Interviewer:  Lorraine Schneider

●       Shame and Early Trauma

Tiffany Sudela-Junker

Whole-Hearted, Whole Brain Parent, XParenting

Seattle, WA

Interviewer:  Lorraine Schneider

Sun, Nov 11

●       From Chaos to Calm

Jules Alvarado

Healing Expert & Peace Consultant and President & Senior Clinical Consultant of Alvarado Consulting & Treatment Group, Boulder, CO

Interviewer:  Julie Beem

●       Trauma-Informed Parenting When You Have Your Own Trauma History

Cissy White

Parent, Author and Speaker

ACEs Connection & Founder of Heal Write Now

Massachusetts

Interviewer:  Stephanie Garde

●       Community of Support

Anna Paravano, MS, CID

Therapeutic Parent, Educator and Former ATN Parenting Director

Interviewer: Tiffany Sudela-Junker

Mon, Nov 12

●       Parenting Children with Challenging Behaviors

Ross Greene, Ph.D.

Originator of CPS Model, author and Founding Director of Lives in the Balance

Maine

Interviewer:  Julie Beem

●       Healing Through Stories:  Using Narratives

Jane Samuel, JD

Grad Student in Family Sciences, University of Kentucky

Lexington, KY

Interviewer: Stephanie Garde

Tues, Nov 13

●       An In-Home Approach

Billy Kaplan, LCSW

President & Clinical Director of Housecalls Counseling, Willamette, IL

Interviewer:  Tiffany Sudela-Junker

●       The Grief of Letting Go

Carrie O’Toole

Board Certified Life Coach & Attachment-Based Intervention Specialist

Carrie O’Toole Ministries, Colorado

Interviewer:  Tiffany Sudela-Junker

Wed, Nov 14

●       The Art of Becoming a Connected Parent

Mark Vatsaas

Connected Parent & Parenting Coach, Founder of Seen and Heard Coaching, Colorado

Interviewer: Julie Beem

●       Therapeutic Parenting:  The ATN Difference

Stephanie Garde, JD

Operations Manager of Attachment & Trauma Network (ATN)

Fairhaven, MA

Interviewer: Lorraine Schneider

●       Trauma, Teens & Tech

Christine Moers

Therapeutic Parent and Parenting Coach

Texas

Interviewer:  Tiffany Sudela-Junker


People wanting to order (purchase) the summit, can do this at our store  ( I will send you that link as well, once we have it operational).  The cost for ATN members is only $29.99 and everyone else $69.99.  If the buyer wants the videos/audios/transcripts mailed on a flash drive it’s an additional $15 – otherwise, they will be sent an access link to download the videos/audios/transcripts.  Download orders will be filled by December 1; flash drive orders will follow.  (You will receive your video/transcript for your own use once the summit is over, as well.)
We have over 2,000 people registered and are swamped with new sign-ups today.

REGISTER TODAY!

Love Matters,

Ce

Lookie, Summer in Sacramento Free Fun

Dear Parents:

Click Here to find out more about Summer Fun with children from difficult beginning in Sacramento.  Enjoy!

The Attach Place Upcoming Events Calendar (Click Here)

SPECIAL REPEAT: Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting

Couples Blog

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on July 14th, 2018 from 9 am to 4 pm.  Childcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Register here or on our website!

 

AUTISM Support Group:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. July 20th, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs and 8-10 yrs. groups. The 5-wk group will be $125 total, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  New groups will begin again August 4th, 2018.  Click here for more information.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Click Here to join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on July 11th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

 

Dad’s Are Bad

Dear Parents:

Couples Blog

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Dad’s are badass, I mean.  You are the ever-present man behind the woman behind the kid.  And, in some cases, you are the man behind the man behind the kid.  Sometimes you are solely the man behind the kid.  Every kid needs a dad like you–engaged, connected, courageous, and badass.

You may not get a peaceful Sunday relaxing in the environment of your choosing, but you sure do deserve it. You may even get overlooked in the hubbub of the celebration tomorrow–Where’s Dad?

Rest assured.  You are seen.  You are a gift in the life of your child.  Celebrate your day.  Just like Mother’s Day, Father’s Day is every day.  You matter immensely in the life of your family and you are badass to boot.

Love matters,

Ce

The Attach Place Upcoming Events Calendar (Click Here)

SPECIAL REPEAT: Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on July 14th, 2018 from 9 am to 4 pm.  Childcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Register here or on our website!

AUTISM Support Group:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. July 20th, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs and 8-10 yrs. groups. The 5-wk group will be $125 total, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  New groups will begin again August 4th, 2018.  Click here for more information.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Click Here to join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on July 11th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

 

Trauma Brain Sandwich–All Carbs, No Protein

Dear Parent,

Couples Blog

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Some kids living with complex developmental trauma are white-knuckling their emotions day and night. Their need to manage every single little thing to keep themselves feeling safe takes the life, the joy, the play, the spontaneity right out of them.  Their need for the safety that control brings to them takes the life, the joy, the play, the spontaneity right out of you, too.

Upshot: be super sure you are getting plenty of adult respite time to play, laugh, love, and be untethered so you are not having a steady Trauma Brain Sandwich diet.

Trauma Brain Sandwiches are all carb, no protein.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S. Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class scheduled for 5/4/18 is being moved to June 9th from 9am to 4pm.  Childcare was the culprit, but we have it arranged for June already.  Don’t forget to sign-up if you are planning to attend.

Also, Jen Nguyen, LMFT is officially on maternity leave, so direct your inquiries to ce@attachplace.com and feel free to schedule online at: http://the-attach-place.reservio.com.

Upcoming Events Calendar (Click Here)

RESERVE YOUR SPOT: Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on June 9th, 2018 from 9 am to 4 pm.  Register here or on our website!

FRIENDS OF AUTISM:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. May 18th, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs and 8-10 yrs. groups. The 5-wk group will be $125 total, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  New groups will begin again in August, 2018.  Click here for more information.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Click Here to join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on May 9th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

 

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

   

 

 

Upcoming Events

Hello Parents,

It has been a while since I posted.  I’ve been busy in the office and out of the office providing training on Therapeutic Parenting, Attachment, and Trauma-Informed Classrooms and Afterschool Programs  Contrary to my own belief system, I cannot do it all and still have time for my own wellness.  Posts had to suffer. This is a quick update for those in or near Sacramento.

NEW!

Advanced Class: Emotion Regulation for Parents/Children

Friendship Skills Improv Group (5-7 yrs)

Social Skills Improv Group (8-10 yrs)

One Day Attachment and Trauma-Informed Therapeutic Parenting Training

On-Going!

Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group (Open to Everyone Every 2nd Wednesday of Every Month)

Other Upcoming Events Calendar in Sacramento…

Tell your friends: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. March 16th, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

      

Control is a Survival Skill

Dear Parents:

You can fight it if you must, but control is the medium through which your child from difficult beginnings feels safe.  Like sky for birds, your attachment challenged child needs the illusion of control lest s/he experience a feeling spiral akin to falling out of the sky and crashing headlong into sure death.

The overarching therapeutic parenting goal is to create a safe and predictable enough environment for your child to trust s/he is not going to smash to the ground when s/he lets go into your care.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

My suggestion is to accept your child’s need for control as one of the basics–air, food, water, shelter, love…control. Little by little, show just how safe you are because you understand the need for control, share power, accept, forgive, and shape the internal landscape of your child’s brain to need just a little less of it over time.

Wrestling with a ravenous person to give up the gluten and carbs of a slice of bread makes no sense. Beware of power struggling over control with your child. We all have a hierarchy of need.  To heal from chronic survival control, our children need first to be safe, feel safe, and to experience acceptance from us in order to surrender to us. It’s really all about parents being trustworthy; and trust is built by predictable behavior over time–sometimes a very long time.

Love matters,

Ce

UPCOMING LOCAL EVENTS:

2017 CAFA Conference
Saturday, September 16th, 2017

The goal of this conference is to give adoptive parents, foster/kinship
parents and professionals the opportunity to meet and learn from four
therapists who have worked successfully with adoptive families in the Sacramento area.

9:00 Ce Eshelman, LMFT – How parental attachment patterns impact
parenting challenging traumatized children
10:30 Kate Messina, PhD, LMFT – Identify and coach your child’s
temperament and “protest style”
12:30 Edye Swidler, LMFT – Social Media and your adopted child
2:00 Debra Wiegel, LMFT – The Hidden Disability: FASD and its effects
on the building blocks of relationships: empathy, conscience, and self-control
Location: River Oak for Children, 5445 Laurel Hills Dr. Sacramento
Time: 8:30-9:00 a.m. check-in 9:00 a.m. – 3:30 p.m.
Conference Cost: $25 a person, includes lunch
*No childcare available
To register: Go to www.capadoptfam.org and click “Training Conference.”
Or send check to 6875 Poca Montoya Dr. Granite Bay, CA 95746
Questions: kim@capadoptfam.org (916) 834-3700
Capital Adoptive Families Alliance was formed by adoptive parents in the Sacramento area.

CAFA (Capital Adoptive Families Alliance) RESPITE DROP OFF DATE: September 10th, 2017-(Sunday). Time: 10am-3pm. Location: 5445 Laurel Hills Dr., Sacramento, CA.
REGISTER AT:
www.capadoptfam.org
or call 916.880.0234
COST: FREE!

 

Healing Difficult Beginnings — Trauma-Informed Parenting with Teri Gelgood, LMFT.
8 Saturdays: September 30 – November 18, 2017      9am-12pm      
493 Main Street, Suite D, Diamond Springs  (Gust Bros Building)
Cost:  $800 (second person caring for same child – free)
Teri@CreatingJoyNow.com        530-503-7040              CreatingJoyNow.com

NEW:  THERAPEUTIC PARENTING WEBINAR with Ce Eshelman, LMFT: 6-Week Interactive Therapeutic Parenting Webinar, August 1 through September 7, 2017.  IN PROGRESS NOW.

UPCOMING THERAPEUTIC PARENTING CLASS with Ce Eshelman, LMFT: Sign up here for the next day long Therapeutic Parenting Class on September 9, 2017, from 9 am to 4 pm at The Attach Place, Sacramento, CA. Cost: $200 for two.  Childcare offered.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on September 13th, 2017! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827. Free child care provided.

TRY MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.