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Archive for Trauma Informed Schools

Fully Immersed in Back to School–Fear for Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner

Dear Parents,

Back to school is back to fear.  The everyday excitement of putting on the new shoes, tees, and backpacks is met with the normal fear of new classrooms, new teachers, new students, new expectations, new routines, new systems, and new things to learn.  Then, BOOM, Dysregulation Nation!  I never heard that on Schoolhouse Rock when I was growing up, but I experienced it every school year with my own kids like a Big Hair Metal Band, huge and hovering right over my house. I have no idea what my children were hearing, but whatever it was it was plain scary for all involved.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

These thoughts regularly ran through my mind: Will he make it through the day?  Will she steal other kids’ lunch?  Will he bite someone, or run off the playground?  Will they get kicked out of the afterschool program? Will I have to leave work?  Who can I get to pick them up?  Is that call from the school?  Will my daycare quit? What am I going to do? 

Yep, I was completely self-absorbed in my own survival brain.   It took a few years before I woke up to the real need–creating a safe world for my children.  Doh! Once I realized how I could positively impact the back to school Dysregulation Nation, I felt empowered to actually help my children in their daily lives.  Little by little, the Big Hair Band faded back into the 80’s where it belonged.

Here are a few back-to-school tips:

  1. Be your child’s advocate at school.  S/he needs you to do that so the behavior the teacher and principal are staring down every day is seen as fearfulness, not badness. Trauma is a thing.  If your school staff think trauma in the past is past, then get them a book to read on how early childhood trauma of attachment breach and abuse changes the actual DNA of a child.  That’s a fact.
  2. Be a compassionate transition maker.  Transitions flip the brain into survival mode.  If it isn’t predictable, then it’s scary.  Even if routines are predictable, there is a hidden fear that it will become unstable, unpredictable, and, therefore, life-threatening–scary.
  3. Your relationship with your child is more important than homework–my little pet peeve.  If there were one thing I could eliminate from your child’s daily life, it would be homework.  Since I can’t, how about you do it?  If your child’s lid flips over homework every day, ask him/her to sit down for 5 minutes after snack and work on it.  Then be done.  If it doesn’t get done, oh well.  Get it accommodated right out via a 504 Plan or IEP.  Relationship over compliance is a pretty good mantra.
  4. Empower your child with regulating resources at home, before school, in the classroom, after school, and at bedtime.  The best resource is a regulated you.  Do your own self-care.  Seriously. Be mindful that your approach to everything related to your child impacts your child’s brain.
  5. Have fun every day with your child.  Play, play, play.  Regulation is a side-effect of play. Why does back to school have to be all about work?  Children will work the rest of their lives when they get out of school.  For these years, let their memories be of fun with their family.  Growing up isn’t only about lessons–school lessons, piano lessons, tutoring lessons, soccer lessons, life lessons, etc.  Growing up is about experiences.  Go play.  You will be so very glad you did because you will be able to maintain your influence when you need it as your children grow older and life does dish up some hard lessons.

Hope that helps.  Steady on, dear parents, the race to the end of the year is on.  Remember, it was the tortoise, not the hare that won.

Love matters,

Ce

Upcoming Sacramento Adoption Community Events

Capital Adoptive Families Alliance 2018 CAFA Conference

Saturday September 8, 2018 

9:30-11:15 Understanding Your Child’s IEP. How to advocate before, during and after the meeting. Attorney CHRISTIAN M. KNOX of Ruderman & Knox Law firm brings over 20 years of experience working with and advocating for special needs children, including as a legal representative for Sacramento County foster children. She has also served as a Special Education Hearing Officer and as an attorney representing children and families in Special Education hearings throughout the state of California.

11:30-12:30 Legal Services of Northern California Liza Thantranon, Managing Attorney and Regional Counsel for Health, will present how to access mental health services including how to overcome common barriers and how Legal Services of Northern California can help.

12:30-1:15 Lunch provided

1:15-2:45 Stories from the Trenches–Adoptive Parents share their stories and answer questions about Transracial adoption, dealing with challenging behaviors, WRAP, challenging the school district, and more. Laura Stillmunkes, Kori Tomlin, and Abby Johnson

Location: River Oak for Children, 5445 Laurel Hills Dr. Sacramento Time: 9:00-9:30 a.m. check-in 9:30 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. conference
Cost: $25 a person includes lunch No childcare available
To register: www.capadoptfam.org Questions: kim@capadoptfam.org (916) 834-3700

Capital Adoptive Families Alliance was formed by adoptive parents in the Sacramento area to support one another through the challenges of childrearing, educate ourselves about the issues our children face, and advocate for them in finding needed services.

Working with Kids with Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders And Other Neuro-Based Challenges: A training for caregivers, child welfare professionals, mental health providers, and school and community personnel

FASD is underdiagnosed and many adoptive parents have no idea their child may have it as other diagnoses have overlapping characteristics.

Wednesday, September 26, 2018
Registration 8:30
Training 9:00-12:00
Presented by Barb Clark, Master Trainer

Location: Sierra Forever Families
8928 Volunteer Lane, Suite 100
Sacramento, CA 95826
Phone: 916-368-5114
RSVP: Kim@capadoptfam.org

Hosted by Sacramento County Community Champions Network and the North American Council on Adoptable Children

The Attach Place Upcoming Events Calendar (Click Here)

Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on September 15th, 2018 from 10 am to 4 pm.  Childcare provided for an additional fee. CALVCB will reimburse this training. Register here or on our website!

AUTISM Support Group:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. September 21st, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

Our 5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs and 8-10 yrs. groups. The 5-wk group will be $125 total, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  The new groups are in full swing  Click here for more information.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Click Here to join our monthly  Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on September 12th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

 

Free Online Trauma Sensitive Schools Summit

Dear Parents:
My name rarely appears on the same list as attachment expert Dan Siegel, MD, so I am humbled to share this with you.  I hope you can make it to this conference and share it with your child’s school administrators, counselors, and teachers.  It is a rare, free opportunity to get trauma-informed. 
It is time that our children were supported at school in the same way we support them at home.  It is going to take all of us to uplift schools.  This is a great way to start the ball rolling or move it farther along.
Love matters,
Ce
TRAUMA-SENSITIVE PARENTING SUMMIT 
Airs September 18-23… FREE
ATN’s Parenting Program has rounded up some incredible experts in the field of parenting traumatized children. This online summit will airs September 18-23, 2018 and feature 18 interviews, including:
  • Dr. Dan Siegel
  • Karen Buckwalter, LCSW
  • Christine Moers
  • Billy Kaplan, LCSW
  • Sarah Naish
  • Ce Eshleman, LMFT
And more…
Register here for this FREE summit (tune in with your computer, tablet or phone) and you’ll receive emails telling you how to access the interviews when they air. The videos and transcripts will also be available for purchase before and after the summit…so you can share this wisdom with others.

 

The Attach Place Upcoming Events Calendar (Click Here)

RESERVE YOUR SPOT: Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on June 9th, 2018 from 9 am to 4 pm.  childcare provided for an additional fee. Register here or on our website!

AUTISM Support Group:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. May 18th, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs and 8-10 yrs. groups. The 5-wk group will be $125 total, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  New groups will begin again in August 2018.  Click here for more information.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Click Here to join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on June 13th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

Upcoming Trauma Informed Schools Conference

Dear Parents,

Teachers are a big part of our children’s daily lives.  Often our kids come home at the end of the school day explosive after holding it together with all their might.  Sometimes, they are reacting all over the school, all day, every day.  In Sacramento, there is an upcoming Trauma-Informed Schools Conference.  Start now lobbying teachers, principals, and school counselors where your children go most days to attend.  This is as much a needed as sensory input every two hours for children from difficult beginnings.  Only a trauma-informed person knows that little tidbit.  Isn’t it time classroom teachers and principals in our country became aware that there is more going on behind all the dysregulated behavior than “bad parenting” and “spoiled children”?

Click below for all the details.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love matters,
Ce

Also, Jen Nguyen, LMFT, is officially the mother of two girls–Aria was born on May 6th, 2018. All are doing very well.  Yay!!!   During  Jen’s attachment leave,  direct your inquiries to ce@attachplace.com and feel free to schedule online at: http://the-attach-place.reservio.com.

Upcoming Events Calendar (Click Here)

RESERVE YOUR SPOT: Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on June 9th, 2018 from 9 am to 4 pm.  childcare provided for an additional fee. Register here or on our website!

FRIENDS OF AUTISM:  Monthly Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. May 18th, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs and 8-10 yrs. groups. The 5-wk group will be $125 total, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  New groups will begin again in August, 2018.  Click here for more information.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Click Here to join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on May 9th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

   

 

 

 

Oprah Dances on The Table About Trauma Informed Care–Yes!

Dear Parents,

I bow down to Oprah.  On CBS Good Morning America today she said she would dance on the tabletop to get people to pay attention to the impact of trauma on the developing brains of children.  If Oprah says it, people will listen. Sunday, March 11th, 2018, she will be airing a 60-Minutes special where she interviews Dr. Bruce Perry on the impact of trauma that you are no stranger to because you are living with it in your home every day of your life in the brain/heart/body complex called your child.

Couples Blog

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

I am deliriously happy myself that Oprah is talking about trauma-informed care because she is sharing it in exactly the way it should be–trauma-informed.  She knows the impact of trauma from the inside out because she came from difficult beginnings and she does a great job explaining the truth about how trauma is shaping the lives of our children and our society overall.

I hope you catch the 60-Minutes interview but more importantly, I hope you encourage teachers, grandparents, friends, ministers, and anyone with ears to tune in so they can be part of the trauma-informed revolution in their own homes and circles of influence.  We all need to be about getting the word out so our children can receive the support they need in all the agencies, classrooms, organizations, worlds they frequent.

Our children need to be understood by everyone not from a place of “what is wrong with you,” but rather from an insightful place of “what happened to you.”  Simple, but profoundly different meanings that change the focus of approach to dysregulation and disturbing behavior that comes from it.

Love matters,

Ce

Upcoming Events Calendar and Other Things in Sacramento…

NEW CLASS: Advanced Regulation Skills for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings. This class is provided by Ce Eshelman, LMFT for parents of children from difficult beginnings who know the basics of therapeutic parenting and want advanced skills on creating regulation for themselves and their children at home/school.  Come dressed to actively learn. March 24, 2018   9:00am to 12pm   $20.00.  Register Here.

NEW DATE: Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on May 5 from 9am to 4pm.  Register here or on our website!

Tell your friends: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. Open to the public. March 16, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs and 8-10 yrs. groups. The 5-wk group will be $125 total, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  New groups will begin again on March 31, 2018.  Click here for more information.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Click Here to join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on March 14, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

   

 

It’s Time For A Revolution In School–The Revolution Starts Now!

Dear Parents,

 

Here is a rare opportunity to get free information on Trauma Informed Schools.  Woohoo! Pass this along to all of your children’s teachers, principals, school counselors, school psychologists and interested friends.  

It’s time for a revolution at school for our traumatized, attachment challenged children.  Let’s bring on Trauma Informed Teaching, one teacher, one principal, one school at a time.  Together we can do this!

Register Here

Attachment Trauma Informed Schools Sacramento

The Attachment and Trauma Network, Inc.

Or Register Here

Love matters,

Ce

Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on May 10th, 2017! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6pm to 8pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827. Free child care provided.

Get your specially discounted copy of Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.

Follow us on Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.