Archive for Reactive Attachment Disorder – Page 2

Skills Groups for Children from Difficult Beginnings

Couples Blog

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Dear Parents,

We at The Attach Place are excited that our upcoming 5-week Friendship Social Skills Improv Groups for 5-7 year-olds are beginning this week. Our children need bite-sized opportunities to practice friendship skills because they do not have the ease of relationship making and keeping hardwired in. As a matter of fact, they have relationship breaking and damaging hardwired in instead from the slings and arrows of difficult beginnings of childhood abuse and abandonment.

Wherever you live, look for social skills groups for your children. Our kids often have so much anxiety in relationships that they are jettisoned into survival mode during play dates or when trying to navigate the playground at school. They need fun ways to learn to be pro-social, rather than consequences for bad behavior resulting from survival brain that they simply cannot help.

Love matters,

Ce

Upcoming Events Calendar and Other Things in Sacramento…

NEW DATE: Trust-based Therapeutic Parenting Class for Parents of Children from Difficult Beginnings by Ce Eshelman, LMFT will be held on February 17th from 9am to 4pm.  Register here or on our website!

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs group. The group will be $20 per session, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  Groups will begin January 13th, 2018.  Contact Ce at Ce@attachplace.com for more details.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on January 10th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

Reminder: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. January 19th, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

 

Beautiful Parents of Beautiful Children: Create A Happy New Year

Dear Parents,

This one’s for you.  Oh, they all are.  This whole blog is for you because you deserve attention, care, and nurturing, just as much as your children from difficult beginnings.  See you in the New Year!  Remember the only person you can change is yourself: BE HAPPY.

Love matters,

Ce

P.S.  By popular demand, The Attach Place has a new online scheduling system with appointment reminder emails.  You can still call to make an appointment, but some folks prefer more streamlined access. There it is. Feel free to use it.

 

 Upcoming Events Calendar and Things in Sacramento…

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

Reminder: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. January 19, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs group and 8 to 10 yrs group.  The groups will be $20 per session, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  Groups will begin January 13th, 2018.  Contact Jen at Jen@attachplace.com for more details.

If you haven’t responded to the Capital Adoptive Family Alliance (California residents only) survey about needs you have for your family while raising adopted children, here is the linkFill it out now!  That is my way of encouraging everyone to answer the survey questions to the best of your ability. You can skip anything that you don’t want to answer.  This is a way to get funding channeled to adoptive parents.  Super special opportunity for all of us adoptive families who need financing for services.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on January 10th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

 

 

Fear or Love? Parenting Developmentally Traumatized Children

Dear Parents,

One of my children was potty trained, in charge of the universe, and talking at 1.5 yrs. The other was 4 yrs. before either of those things happened. I was frightened by both.

One of my children was astute and controlling everything and anything in her worldview. The other was forever a baby, needing help with simple tasks through the adult years. I was frightened by both.

One of my children was cunning and shrewd–survival was the modus operandi. The other was gullible and passively uncooperative–survival was the modus operandi.  I was frightened by both.

One of my children used a 10″ butcher knife to threaten an adult step-brother and to carve a thin line on all the walls about waist high in every room in our house.  The other foreshadowed this years earlier by meandering toward me with a similar blade, which seemed longer than the little arm that was wielding it at the time. I was frightened by both.

My fear made me distant and guarded at the very times my children needed my love.  My children needed me close and my fear walled off my heart.  Survival mode took me over and I became more utilitarian than relational.  I didn’t think I could help it at the time.  As a matter of fact, there was a moment when I looked for the exits.  The ones I found were not really tenable–who would take care of my kids?  I just kept going like an emotionally volatile robot.

I’m telling you this to say, “Me, too.” I’m telling you this to say that I did eventually find a way out of survival mode.

Parents, I implore you, do what you can to find your heart. Go closer. Keep your skin in the game. Fear less. Engage more.”  Fear? Or Love?

That’s easy to say but it isn’t easy to do.  I know.  I truly know in my bones.

If this is happening to you, then you MUST do some things to get out of the rabbit hole of survival mode.  The number one most effective cure for fear that blocks engaged, loving parenting is… Ready?   Regular respite. 

I promise you that is the cure for blocked, guarded-hearted, fearful, survival mode parenting.

In my work, parents tell me all the time that they can’t afford “regular” respite.  I get it; it’s expensive.  And some parents really can’t.  Often though, I notice those same parents taking vacations to Hawaii or Mexico once a year.  I know they scraped up coupons, Groupons, deals, and stuff to make that happen, and I don’t for a second begrudge or judge anyone for desiring a tropical vacation.  I don’t.  What I am wanting you to consider is finding a way to get money to pay for regular respite in the same way you find the money to go on a vacation–beg, borrow, swap, co-op, trade, exchange, barter, and save cans.

Couples Blog

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Regular weekly respite will rejuvenate and sustain your emotional life with your children.  The excitement and relief of a vacation with your children may or may not last through the plane ride.  At some point during the vacation, you may even ask yourselves, “What in the @#$! were we thinking?”

Not all parents will regret their tropical vacation midway through.  Let me say this though; the parents who find a way to enjoy vacationing with their children are usually the same ones who found a way to get respite regularly.  “Regular respite” and “enjoying your children” are the main ingredients for making life force biscuits.  Mmmm delicious.

Hey, it’s the New Year, right?  While resolutions rarely survive the first two weeks of January, consider making a weekly respite goal and sticking with it for 21 days (that three weeks in case you weren’t counting).  By that time it will be a habit to save money each week for your life force–the Regular Respite Cure.

Love matters,

Ce

Upcoming Events Calendar and Things in Sacramento…

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or get a discounted copy here.

Reminder: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. January 19, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–5-7 yrs group and 8 to 10 yrs group.  The groups will be $20 per session, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  Groups will begin January 13th, 2018.  Contact Jen at Jen@attachplace.com for more details.

If you haven’t responded to the Capital Adoptive Family Alliance (California residents only) survey about needs you have for your family while raising adopted children, here is the linkFill it out now!  That is my way of encouraging everyone to answer the survey questions to the best of your ability. You can skip anything that you don’t want to answer.  This is a way to get funding channeled to adoptive parents.  Super special opportunity for all of us adoptive families who need financing for services.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on January 10th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

 

Bustling Winter Solstice With Children From Difficult Beginnings

Dear Parents,

In times past, dark, cold days and bare tree limbs would signal a time for slowing down and snuggling up cozily with loved ones.  Today, you might find yourself rushing around with pink cheeks, children in tow, trying to squeeze the last drop of holiday bustle out of the light before the shortest day of the year retreats into total darkness.

Whew!  Slow down if you can. Take a breath. Children feel safe and loved when you play with them, look at them sweetly, and laugh out loud with full abandon in their presence.  Tired, grumpy, worn out, holiday weary parents are rarely delightful.  How do I know this?  I learned the hard way.  Here are some things my kids love to talk about when gathered for holiday meals:

Remember when you gave us those toys you made out of clay for Christmas, Mom?  They were so cute.  I remember having a huge fit when one of them broke after I tried to stuff it into a toy car.  That was so fun, Mom!

Remember when Frank (our Black Lab) knocked over the tree?  That was hysterical.  I think that was the first time I saw you cry, Mom.  I couldn’t believe my eyes and I remember us all really laughing at you for crying.  Not very nice, were we?  After a minute, you started laughing with tears squirting out of your eyes.  

Couples Blog

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Mom, remember buying matching Christmas sweaters every year?  Big laughter breaks out all around after someone starts that worn out story because there were never any Christmas sweaters and certainly nothing matching.  That memory is 100% false.  It started when my daughter was around 10 and has persisted now as a joke.  Some might think this a bit crazy–talking together about a memory that never happened.  It is our way of acknowledging that things were just a tad off sometimes around our house, and still are from time to time.  Good to laugh at ourselves than rigidly deny our experiences.

Here is a fact: None of my children ever mentions one single present I ever bought and gave them for Christmas.  All the bustling around is not the stuff of healing.  It’s icing for sure but try very hard not to confuse it for the cake.

Happy Winter Solstice, sweet parents.

Love matters,

Ce

Holiday Cheers to you parents, in case you missed it from all of us at The Attach Place.

Upcoming Events and Things in Sacramento…

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or discounted at www.attachplace.com.

Reminder: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. January 19, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–6-8 yrs group and 9 to 11 yrs group.  The groups will be $20 per session, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  Groups will begin in January 2018.  Contact Jen at Jen@attachplace.com for more details.

If you haven’t responded to the Capital Adoptive Family Alliance (California residents only) survey about needs you have for your family while raising adopted children, here is the linkFill it out now!  That is my way of encouraging everyone to answer the survey questions to the best of your ability. You can skip anything that you don’t want to answer.  This is a way to get funding channeled to adoptive parents.  Super special opportunity for all of us adoptive families who need financing for services.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on January 10th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

 

Holiday Time Is A Dysregulation Time

Dear Parents,

I accidentally erased my blog post so I am trying again.  My passion gets a bit dampened when the computer gremlins go to work undoing my work, but I will raise it back up for you.  You deserve a little boost right now.  Afterall, it’s the holidays!

A prepared parent is a happy one, usually.  Be prepared for dysregulation so it doesn’t throw you off.  Your kids are going to build up into a happy tizzy before all is said and done.  That is okay, right?  This is your real life, your real kids, and the real deal.  Hold structure the best you can, even if Grammy Mildred thinks you are too hard on your babies.  You know it is what they need.  Grammy probably doesn’t get it.  She doesn’t live with them day in and out or she would get it.  Try not to be too hard on those who are living without the daily ups and downs.  When you get advice, thank the advisor and move along.  No need to explain, correct, or enlighten; that will just ruin your holiday.  Take plenty of play breaks with your children.  Get away outside when visiting others for a few minutes to spin or cartwheel or kick a ball.  Take a plastic container of fidgets and sensory objects for soothing.  A weighted blanket can be helpful when you find your child hiding under the table in a rocking fit of shutdown.  Most importantly, remember that your regulation is a wonderful holiday gift to yourself and your children.  Don’t let anyone or anything talk you out of yours.  Merry days my beautiful parents.  I am sending you big LOVE this season and all through the New Year.  Cheers.

Love matters,

Ce

Upcoming Events and Things in Sacramento…

GIVE MY BOOK FOR SUPPORT TO A FELLOW ADOPTION ADVENTURER: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.  At Amazon or discounted at www.attachplace.com.

Reminder: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. January 19, 2018 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Gluten-free snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough snacks, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for food and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–6-8 yrs group and 9 to 11 yrs group.  The groups will be $20 per session, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  Groups will begin in January 2018.  Contact Jen at Jen@attachplace.com for more details.

If you haven’t responded to the Capital Adoptive Family Alliance (California residents only) survey about needs you have for your family while raising adopted children, here is the linkFill it out now!  That is my way of encouraging everyone to answer the survey questions to the best of your ability. You can skip anything that you don’t want to answer.  This is a way to get funding channeled to adoptive parents.  Super special opportunity for all of us adoptive families who need financing for services.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on January 10th, 2018! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

 

Holiday Childcare Opportunity in Sacramento

Good Cheer Parents,

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Andrea, our Special Services Coordinator, and a great adoptive parent, Abby, cooked up the idea that parents of children from difficult beginnings have trouble getting out without children in order to prepare for the holidays–that’s a duh to all of you, right?

To that end, in Sacramento, CA, The Attach Place will be providing a low-cost therapeutic childcare opportunity on December 16, 2017 from 2pm to 6pm. Kids will have structured activities (Andrea is calling this a Kids Holiday Party, but we are keeping that under wraps to manage regulation) and parents can have unstructured away time to do what you do (no one will ever know what you actually do).

Contact Andrea@attachplace.com to reserve a space, which, of course, is limited; so jump on this.

The cost is $20 for the whole time for each child.

Love matters,

Ce

 

 

 

 

Upcoming Events in Sacramento…

Reminder: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Pizza Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. December 15th, 2017 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Pizza and snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough pizza, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for pizza and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD Kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–6-8 yrs group and 9 to 11 yrs group.  The groups will be $20 per session, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  Groups will begin in January 2018.  Contact Jen@attachplace.com for more details.

If you haven’t responded to the Capital Adoptive Family Alliance (California residents only) survey about needs you have for your family while raising adopted children, here is the linkFill it out now!  That is my way of encouraging everyone to answer the survey questions to the best of your ability. You can skip anything that you don’t want to answer.  This is a way to get funding channeled to adoptive parents.  Super special opportunity for all of us adoptive families who need financing for services.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on December 13th, 2017! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

TRY MY BOOK FOR DAILY SUPPORT: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

Adoptive Parents: Please Take This 2 minute Survey!

There Are ACEs and Then There Are ACNs

Dear Parents,

ACEs are Adverse Childhood Experiences that seriously impact the development of children when they multiply in number before the child reaches 18.  If you are unfamiliar, let me direct you to acestoohigh.com to take the questionnaire and to become a little more trauma-informed.

ACNs are Adverse Childhood Neglect Experiences.  Apparently, the “E” is left off because the acronym would spell ACNE and we don’t want confusion here.

Take the ACN Inventory to see just how much you or your partner or your child is impacted by developmental trauma related to adverse childhood neglect.  It’s a real thing.

ACN Inventory By Berry Weinhold, PhD

In the first year of your life specifically and generally prior to your 18th birthday:

  1. Were you placed in childcare or with someone other than a primary caregiver before you were one month old? For all of these questions: If yes, put a 1.
  2. Did you spend less than 20 hours a week being cared for by our mother during your first year of life?
  3. As an infant, were you allowed to cry yourself asleep at night without your parent(s) attempting to comfort you?
  4. Did you feel afraid of your mother or other adult caregivers?
  5. Was your mother or another primary caregiver chronically depressed?
  6. Did your mother or other primary adult caregiver suffer from substance abuse?
  7. Did your mother or any other primary caregiver fail to tell you that they loved you?
  8. Did your mother or other primary caregiver avoid hugging you, picking you up or making eye contact with you?
  9. Were you separated from your mother for more than a week for any reason in your first year of life?
  10. Did your primary caregivers leave you with strangers or other non-bonded caregivers for more than one week before your first birthday?
  11. Were you told directly or indirectly that your parents were too overwhelmed to care for you?
  12. Did your parents fail to take your home environment safe leading to accidents?
  13. Were you told or treated by either of your parents to “be seen and not heard?”
  14. Did you frequently move when you were very young?
  15. Was your other cold toward you when you were a child?
  16. As a child did you feel your parents didn’t understand your needs?
  17. Did you feel unwanted by your parents?
  18. Were you unplanned by your parents?
  19. Did you have frequent illnesses when you were under a year of age (colic, ear infections etc,)?
  20. Even though you weren’t adopted, did you feel you were “adopted” when you were growing up in your family?
  21. Was your mother under 19 years of age when you were born?
  22. Were you a “play-pen” baby?
  23. Did you believe that there was something fundamentally wrong with you because of the way you thought or behaved?
  24. Were you “parentized” or put in an inappropriate parenting role when you were very young?
  25. Did your parents fail to provide proper medical care for you?
  26. Did your parents fail to teach you or require you to develop proper personal hygiene habits?
  27. Were you left unsupervised for long periods of time?
  28. Were you left in the care of someone who was significantly impaired or of questionable character?
  29. Were you placed in dangerous situations or with dangerous people?
  30. Were you verbally abused and your parents(s) did nothing to protect you?
  31. Were you sexually abused and your parent(s) did nothing to protect you?
  32. Were you physically abused and your parent(s) did nothing to protect you?
  33. Were you emotionally abused and your parent(s) did nothing to protect you?
  34. Did your parent(s) fail to make sure you got to school on time?
  35. Did your parent(s) fail to make sure you completed your homework?
  36. Did your parent(s) fail to provide proper nutrition for you?
  37. Did you parent(s) fail to provide proper or clean clothing for you?
  38. Did you have siblings who were less than one year older than you?
  39. Were you a “latch-key” child who had no one there when you came home for school?
  40. Did your parent(s) compare you unfavorably to your siblings?

Score:  Count the number of items where you answered, “Yes.”

 

If you had five or more yes answers, you likely had developmental traumas in your childhood caused by neglect.  The higher number of yes answers, the more severe the developmental traumas were in your childhood and the likelihood they could cause mental and physical health problems in your adult years.  If you answered yes to 21 or more of the questions, this qualifies as “severe neglect.”

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

There are no national norms for fully understanding the impact of childhood neglect; however, many researchers and clinicians believe that ACN experiences lead to more long-term health effects.  This is likely due to the reality that neglect goes unremedied and other abuses can be more easily seen by others and even more easily acknowledged by the sufferers.  People get help for childhood abuse and rarely for childhood neglect.

If you were neglected as a child, you may have a very hard time parenting children from difficult beginnings.  You will likely need help.  Get it.  Everyone in your house wants you to get the support and healing you need but maybe never realized.

Love matters,

Ce

 

Upcoming Events in Sacramento…

Reminder: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Pizza Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. December 15th, 2017 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Pizza and snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough pizza, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for pizza and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD Kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–6-8 yrs group and 9 to 11 yrs group.  The groups will be $20 per session, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  Groups will begin in January 2018.  Contact Jen@attachplace.com for more details.

If you haven’t responded to the Capital Adoptive Family Alliance (California residents only) survey about needs you have for your family while raising adopted children, here is the linkFill it out now!  That is my way of encouraging everyone to answer the survey questions to the best of your ability. You can skip anything that you don’t want to answer.  This is a way to get funding channeled to adoptive parents.  Super special opportunity for all of us adoptive families who need financing for services.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on December 13th, 2017! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

TRY MY BOOK FOR DAILY SUPPORT: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

If Your Traumatized Child Were A Dog…

Dear Parents,

Couples Blog

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

I read this today on the I Heart Dogs blog:

If you believe you aren’t your dog’s favorite person, but you would like to be, there are some things you can do to improve your bond with them. The best thing to do is spend at least 30 minutes of focused, one-on-one time with your dog every day. This time should be spent doing something active such as playing fetch or tug, having a training session, or trying a new sport such as agility or flyball where you and your dog can work together as a team.

Now apply that to your attachment challenged, traumatized child.

Go play.

Love matters,

Ce

Upcoming Events in Sacramento…

Reminder: Strictly Social Autism Spectrum Disorder Pizza Night for Tweens (11 yrs – 16 yrs) at The Attach Place. December 15th, 2017 from 5:30 pm to 7:00 pm.  Pizza and snacks provided. Please RSVP to Andrea@attachplace.com so we get enough pizza, right? This is a  monthly social group for the children; and caregivers will have an opportunity to connect, chat, and chill in a separate space. A donation of $0.00 to $5.00 will be accepted for pizza and supervision if you are able, but please don’t let that be an attendance barrier because the group is FREE.  ASD Kids need a social life and this is a great way to make it happen.

NEW!  5-Week FRIENDSHIP SOCIAL SKILLS IMPROV GROUPS FOR CHILDREN WITH DEVELOPMENTAL TRAUMA–6-8 yrs group and 9 to 11 yrs group.  The groups will be $20 per session, CALVCB payment eligible, structured, and fun, too.  Groups will begin in January 2018.  Contact Jen@attachplace.com for more details.

If you haven’t responded to the Capital Adoptive Family Alliance (California residents only) survey about needs you have for your family while raising adopted children, here is the linkFill it out now!  That is my way of encouraging everyone to answer the survey questions to the best of your ability. You can skip anything that you don’t want to answer.  This is a way to get funding channeled to adoptive parents.  Super special opportunity for all of us adoptive families who need financing for services.

UPCOMING ADOPTION SUPPORT GROUP facilitated by Ce Eshelman, LMFT:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on December 13th, 2017! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827.

TRY MY BOOK FOR DAILY SUPPORT: Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.

FOLLOW US:  Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

NEW Webinar! Introducing A 6-week Interactive Therapeutic Parenting Webinar by Ce Eshelman

Dear Parents:

You might like a booster to the previous Therapeutic Parenting Training you had at The Attach Place, or you may need a different format in order to make it happen at all; then again, you might have friends you think could benefit from a Therapeutic Parenting Training but they live outside Sacramento.  Whatever the need, here is a chance to get a support group and Therapeutic Parenting Course all wrapped in one.  Feel free to forward this email to someone who might be interested.

6-week Interactive Therapeutic Parenting Webinar 

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

This 6-week webinar is designed for busy parents (as if there are any other kinds) who cannot make it to a brick and mortar, Sacramento, CA based training, and who need effective information and knowledgeable support for weathering the turbulent waters of raising children from difficult beginnings of attachment breach, neglect, and other abuse traumas.

Who Would Benefit From Attending this Webinar

Parents, grandparents, teachers, and caregivers of traumatized children, adoptive children, foster children, and kinship placed children.  Even if you have had therapeutic parenting education before, you can never have enough support on your journey raising children who do not respond positively to traditional parenting the way you are expecting.

How It Works

Each instructional webinar is one hour long with an option to spend an extra 15-minutes in a live Q & A. The instructional webinar will be held Tuesdays from 10 am to 11:15 am.  On Thursdays of the same week, there will be a one-hour facilitated discussion support webinar to for all participants to talk freely about the content of the prior webinar and application to your own personal family lives.

Weekly Webinar Content Breakdown

  1. Tuesday, 8/1/17,  10 am to 11:15 am: The Brain’s the Thing: The Developing Brain on Trauma

Thursday, 8/3/17, 10 am to 11 am: Facilitated Discussion Support Group

  1. Tuesday, 8/8/17, 10 am to 11:15 am: Regulation Is Key: Difficult Beginnings and Regulation Tools

Thursday, 8/10/17, 10 am to 11 am: Facilitated Discussion Support Group

  1. Tuesday, 8/15/17, 10 am to 11:15 am: Your Parental Attachment Suitcase: All About You

Thursday, 8/17/17 10 am to 11:00 am: Facilitated Discussion Support Group

  1. Tuesday, 8/22/17, 10 am to 11:15 am: Trust-Based Parenting: Building Your Environment

Thursday, 8/24/17 10 am to 11 am: Facilitated Discussion Support Group

  1. Tuesday, 8/29/17, 10 am to 11:15 am: Trust-Based Parenting: Strengthening Your Connection

Thursday, 8/31/17, 10 am to 11 am: Facilitated Discussion Support Group

  1. Tuesday, 9/5/17, 10 am to 11:15 am: Trust Based Parenting: Using Correction Correctly

Thursday, 9/7/17, 10 am to 11 am: Facilitated Closure Support Group

What Will This Cost?

The early registration fee for the 6-week course is $149.00.  After July 1, 2017, the fee will be $199.00. Downloadable materials will be available for each class and recordings will be made available for participants who cannot make the actual date and time of the webinar.  At this time, the Q. and A. portion of each webinar will not be recorded, nor will the content of the support groups be recorded.  If you want to gather your friends and/or family members together in one room for each webinar, you are welcome to do so at no extra charge.  It helps when everyone in the family is on the same page and when your friends are using the same strategies you are. The more the merrier.

If you are ready to reserve your webinar spot, register here.

Love matters,

Ce

NEXT CLASS:  Therapeutic Parenting Class for Foster and Adoptive Parents is scheduled for June 24th, 2017 from 9 am to 4 pm.  Register here.

NEXT GROUP:  Join our monthly Adoptive/Foster Parent Support Group on June 14th, 2017! Open to all parents/caregivers at no cost. Support Group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6 pm to 8 pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827. Free child care provided.

Get your specially discounted copy of Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.  Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.

 Follow us on Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.