Parenting Adopted Children: Nonsensical Lying Makes Sense

Dear Parents, Nonsensical lying makes sense. It really does if you understand the internal workings of children who come from difficult beginnings. Nonsensical lying is triggered by exactly the same things that trigger emotionally dysregulated meltdowns–PURE FEAR, a pervasive sense of fear of the unknown, fear of authority, fear of change, fear of danger, fear of vulnerability, fear of being…

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Ten Therapeutic Parenting Principles to Snack On

Dear Parents, Here are 10 Therapeutic Parenting Principles; not the only 10 Therapeutic Principles because there are many more. 10 Therapeutic Parenting Principles Be safe parents to attach to.  Safety over compliance is important in therapeutic parenting. Keep your faces and eyes soft.  If you are upset, give yourself a time out to someplace kid free until you can get…

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Not Bad Seeds

Dear Parents, Kids who have been traumatized by maltreatment or by witnessing maltreatment of others have highly developed coping mechanisms.  They are often very serious adapters and adjusters.  Behaviors like aggression, lying, opposition, shutting down, manipulating, stealing, nonsensical chatter, distraction, sneaking, hoarding, lethargy, refusal, and low motivation are all examples of adaptive coping strategies. Be very, very careful not to…

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In This Home

Dear Parents, A.D., in our Adoption Support Group, sent this to me today and I ordered two on wood for the office, but I realized I could send you a copy and you could have a mini version at home to remind you of everything I have been teaching you.  It is almost as though I wrote it, but I…

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Summer Activities for Healing Children

Dear Parents, I know you were hoping I would put out a list of preplanned local activities you could easily snatch up and run with, but you all live in vastly different areas so that would not be helpful to everyone. In most cities and towns (in the U.S. anyway) there are publications just for parents about kid activities and…

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