Books and Children Need Launching

Dear Parent,

As you probably know, I am launching a book.  It has taken me years to get the darned thing to press, and April 16th is the big launch party (actually it is pretty small, which is perfect).  At the same time, I have been preparing to launch my three adult children. The frightening similarity in the two processes escaped me until yesterday morning, when I was hit with a huge wave of anxiety and I couldn’t tell the source.  For days my mind has been obsessively alternating two thoughts:  Should I get the office carpet cleaned for the big day? and Are my kids capable of pulling this off?  Is it the book launch?  Is it the kid launch?  Is it the fear of failure on all fronts?  Or is it the thrill of success?  Ding, ding, ding…I am dysregulated.  And if you see “I” am, you ought to see my kids.  Whew, pure fear sweat around this house.

Writing a book is a painstaking process requiring daily discipline and commitment to staying on track–even when some days are dark with apathy, light on inspiration, and gray from blight of imagination.  Often I have wanted to give up because my inner gremlin, Mack The Hack, tells me no one cares what I have to say; so why try? Then out of nowhere, ideas poured out onto the page like sublime wine from a muse’s challis. That’s hyperbole; my writing is never like that.  It is more akin to the heavy hands of a chimp pounding on the keyboard.

Launching my children resembles a gorilla pounding on the keys of every day life. Occasionally there is divine intervention of joy and delight, but the process is largely a commitment of love.  It is work; work, like in my therapy office, work.

This launch comparison is apt for so many reasons, but I will stop writing in order not to bore you to tears with the details. I will, however, make this one last observation. I am okay with my book being a flop, and so not okay with my kids flopping out in the world.   I will put a safety net around them by way of continuous support.  Book, you are on your own. Good luck to ya.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place Center for Strengthening Relationships

Love matters,


The next 8 hr. Trust Based Parent Training is scheduled for April 23rd and 30th from 12noon to 4pm.  $200 per couple.  Childcare available for $30 each day, second child $10 additional. To sign up email and she will register you.

Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is every second Wednesday of the month from 5:30pm to 7:30pm.  Group and childcare are free.
Look for Ce’s Upcoming Book…
Drowning with My Hair On Fire is a compilation of over 175 daily support letters to parents of adoptive children and other children from difficult beginnings.  With a forward by Dave Ziegler, Ph.D. and a brief personal memoir, this publication is a response to blog-reader requests for a book of letters that can be easily returned to day after day, when inspiration is hard to find.
Praise for Drowning with My Hair On Fire
This woman saved our family. This book will save your sanity! After years (and many therapists) of getting it wrong, Ce Eshelman got our traumatized family on the right path to attachment, sanity, and big biglove. Ce’s unique therapy is grounded in the latest brain research, her own struggles raising traumatized children, and work with hundreds of families like ours. Her stories, contained in this book, are our stories: full of pain, confusion, hope, faith, love and practical magic that really works.
Elaine Smith, Adoptive MotherDrowning with My Hair on Fire Book Cover
Ce’s daily blog has been a lifesaver, particularly when days are most dreary and hopeless.  Not only have her words of empathy proven to be priceless to our family, but I have often forwarded them on to others.  Such a comfort to feel understood, with no judgment.
Patty O’Hair, Adoptive Mother
In a real sense “Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents” is a daily mediation of struggle, success, failure and getting up and trying again.  If that sounds like too much to subject yourself to then don’t adopt a challenging child.  And one more thing, shouldn’t we require prospective adoptive parents to read “Drowning with My Hair on Fire: Insanity Relief for Adoptive Parents” rather than another ‘All they need is love’ manual?
Dave Ziegler, Ph.D., founder of Jasper Mountain Center and author of many books on raising children from difficult beginnings.



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