Attachment Panic–Flight

Attachment panic can be as brutal for the attachment object (YOU) as it is for the person experiencing it. Attachment panic can occur when an attachment challenged person is triggered by perceived deprivation or withdrawal of another’s love. The cellular memory of early deprivation and loss causes a reaction of fight, flight or freeze.

This is flight:
When your 8 year old says nonsensical, random things when you are trying to make connection before you leave for work; when your 4 year old takes off running, forcing YOU to chase her to get her teeth brushed; when your 16 year old retreats to his room before you get two sentences out about the chores not being done; when your 12 year old loses about 8 years of brain power as you confront her on the family computer browser history that shows visits to unsavory websites; when these kinds of mind boggling events occur, YOU are experiencing attachment panic flight.

Try to step out of the trap of making sense of flight behaviors. They don’t make sense in the context of the moment. However, in the context of your child’s inner world fleeing from feelings of deprivation or fear of losing your love makes perfect sense.

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