All Roads Lead To Abandonment

Some of us are equipped better than others for quieting the anxieties attachment challenged children are haunted with. Since TV raised me (mostly), I wasn’t that well informed.  Mr. Spock from Star Trek was my role model.  I had to learn about soothing through the experience of doing it. I quickly discovered that all roads led to abandonment for my children, so anxiety was the mood of every moment.
Today I am having two minor medical procedures.  I had to tell my son because I will take to my bed when I get home.  Immediately he went into anxiety mode thinking I might die, so I spent the good part of last night reassuring him that I wasn’t.  For me, this is like lying to children for years about the existence of Santa Claus.  One day I will die–probably not today, but who knows?  He will likely deal with that inevitability like he did the unveiling of Santa–YOU lied Mom! What else are you lying about?
Easter Bunny, Leprechauns, Tooth Fairy, Elf On A Shelf, Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer…me dying someday.
Parents can’t be trusted.
The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

Love Matters,

Ce Eshelman, LMFT

Oh, the conundrum of lying to children.

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