Actually, No, They Can’t Do What All Kids Do

Dear Parents,
Just because other kids are getting to do something doesn’t mean your child can do the same thing without problems.
 
Children with attachment challenged, traumatized pre-frontal cortices often have delayed judgement, weak cause and effect, poor impulse control, and low personal “care.”  
Here are some things that need to be carefully considered:
  • Going to School (Homeschooling is indicated for newly adopted children, as well as others.)
  • Sleep Overs (If your child has been maltreated, sleep overs need to be 100% supervised and sleeping arrangements need to be carefully considered.  Parents need to sleep in the same room sometimes.)
  • One to One Unsupervised Play in a room with another child (Our children need adult supervision to feel safe and be safe.)
  • Cell Phones (Unsupervised connection to the outside world is ill advised and it will always be misused.)
  • Internet (All children are curious.  Our children are often prematurely drawn to the seedier side of things.  The Internet can draw children to experiment, run away, learn unseemly things too early, connect with strangers–peers and adults, avoid real relationships, create false romance, and to be lured into trouble.)
  • Video Games–fantasy and violence (Fantasy can be just as consuming as violence when it is spiced up with pixels, colors, bells, and whistles.  This form of entertainment can cause habituated avoidance and addictive behavior.)
  • TV (Disney shows have extremely poor role models for our children to emulate.  Our kids are good mimics because they often have weak parental imprints.  “Trying on” mouthy Disney cartoon voices or teen affectation as though they are actually options is not healthy, and they are very difficult for parents to undo once done.)

Just because other kids do, doesn’t mean ours can.

The Attach Place

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

If they insist, it’s okay to steadfastly say no with an explanation.  They will be mad, mad, mad at YOU. Hold firm. 
 
If they wanted to try a little shot of Heroin, you would say no in the face of their wrath, right?
 
Love Matters,
Ce

Join our monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group!  Open to all adoptive parents at no cost.

Support group is every 2nd Wednesday of every month from 6pm to 8pm at 3336 Bradshaw Road, Ste 175, Sacramento, CA 95827. Child care provided at no cost.

Get your discounted copy of Drowning With My Hair On Fire: Insanity Relief For Adoptive Parents by Ce Eshelman, LMFT.

Daily inspirational reading for those who sometimes find it hard to keep hope alive. There is hope for healing.

Follow us on Twitter @lovingradkids and @Attachmenthelp or Facebook.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.