A Coherent Narrative

Dear Parent,

I had the best conversation with a 17-year old this week.  She has been through a heck of a lot of trauma in her young life, not including her original trauma and abandonment by bio parents.  It is amazing she is still going as strong as she is. I was explaining the developmental reasons why she feels blank on the inside; why she doesn’t have a solid sense of right and wrong; why she doesn’t care about much.

She was surprisingly interested.  Many adolescents I speak with are so defended with therapists that this kind of psychoeducation is lost on them and rejected out of hand.  She, however, was following closely and curiously.  It was a pathway to understanding herself and also toward assuaging her expressed fear that she might be a sociopath.

At one point, I asked her how old she felt inside.  She was quiet for a couple of minutes before reporting she was two ages–2 and 12.  Wow, she totally had a handle on where she was stuck.  I am ever so grateful I had the privilege of helping her understand, and how together we could go about growing those two parts up.

Attachment Help

The Attach Place
Center for Strengthening Relationships

There is a point to the development of a coherent narrative and it rarely unfolds so beautifully before me eyes.  There is always hope.  So, take heart, and persist in all that you do, because one day your child will be ready to explore their internal landscape.  The foundation you lay now points the way for healing later.

Take a deep breath and carry on.

Love matters,

Ce

Monthly Adoptive Parent Support Group is free and open to everyone. Meets the second Wednesday of every month from 6pm to 8pm. Childcare is free. Please sign up at www.attachplace.com.

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Comments

  1. Thanks for this–my greatest hope is that one day my son will have this kind of self awareness; my greatest fear is that he won’t.

  2. Thanks for this–my greatest hope is that one day my son will have this kind of self awareness; my greatest fear is that he won’t.

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