How They Feel On The Inside

Dear Parents, A 15-year-old girl sits in my office managing to look caved in while sitting straight up.  She says a familiar refrain, “My parents don’t understand me.” What are they not understanding honey?  “Me. They don’t see me.  They see who they think I am.” Who are you that they are not seeing? “Well, they all look alike, even…

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Attention Is Not The Only Reason For Negative Behavior

Dear Parents: When I was a kid, I loved watching private eye shows on TV, not because I particularly wanted to sit around watching people through binoculars all day but more because I am keenly interested in human nature.  Also, TV P.I.’s often had cool cars. I settled and became a therapist instead. When I was a kid, I loved…

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Insecurity Needs Your Secure Connection

Dear Parents, It’s a fact.  Our children from difficult beginnings have a bucket of need they carry around with them in their hearts.  It may seem like a bottomless bucket, and your own bucket is getting on the empty side trying to fill it up.  When it feels like that, take heed.  You need to get your own bucket filled…

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When I First Adopted, I Wish…

Dear Parents, I read an article today from Adoptive Families that stimulated my own thinking.  I am pretty sure this is summed up in my book, but here is the short version. When I first adopted my children, I wish… …I knew that therapeutic parenting was a thing and that I had read two books in particular:  The Connected Child…

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Nowhere But Up From Here

Dear Parents, I wrote some of this in response to another parent whom I love dearly but could not really help in the end.  This morning on my walk (yes, I do walk 5 miles a day these days) I was thinking about her and me and you. Every Parent’s Struggle I believe your struggle is my struggle, is every…

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