Embrace the Facts

Dear Parents: When you come to the edge of everything you know, surrender. Developmentally traumatized children from abuse, neglect, and abandonment are caught in a terrible double bind.  They desperately need you and they desperately fear and doubt your veracity as a forever parent.  They fear you will harm and leave them so much that they try to beat you…

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You Gotta Get This For Back-to-School

Dear Parents: Last night at our Adoption Support Group one of our resourceful parents shared this GREAT template she purchased for just $10 from a website for parents of challenged children.  This will be the best $10 you spend to support your school age child from difficult beginnings to be successful in the classroom.  It’s the bomb baby! Take a minute to…

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Mad As Hell

 Dear Parents: When your child is “mad as hell,” flashing eye-daggers, hating you out-loud and personal, you can know that she is dissociated.  What does that mean?  Well, there is a complicated, psychobabble explanation, but I will put it here as simply as I can:  She is split off from the part of herself that is monumentally overwhelmed at the…

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In Support of More Adoption Resources for Families in CA, Please Do This Survey

Dear Parents, If you have been reading this blog for awhile, you know I rarely use this platform for third party reasons; however, this request can directly benefit adopted families in California if you answer the survey, so I’m thinking you won’t mind.  Thank you for supporting CAFA (Capital Adoptive Families Alliance) by completing this quick survey.  You can skip any…

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They Are Nothing If Not Spiky

Dear Parents: Sometimes when I explain the effects of Complex Developmental Trauma on the brain and therefore on the behavior of a child to a parent, I get a quick push back.  It sounds something like this, “Okay, but she isn’t always like that. Sometimes she is perfectly fine.”   What the parents are telling me without knowing it is…

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